day 1838 – funeral flowers

heavy hearted moment learning that one of my long time friend just lost her mother. i paid her family a visit and made sure she knows she’s supported. this must be a difficult moment for her and her family, but i’m really glad to see that she’s holding up well. we hung around after the prayers and chatted about how things will change and even how much she looks forward to our mini upcoming trip

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day 1836 – twirls

two weeks of no progress drove me crazy and today i finally see marginal improvement from my last physio appointment. deep down i knew the answer was a no go even think about trying to go flipping. i shouldn’t risk screw up the slightest improvementby by forcing premature attempg. still, i felt like practicing my five forties so found some empty space at the gym and went at it. it’s rusty especially not being able to use my arms properly, but practice is practice

day 1729 – tape-less tape job


replacing new tape on top of old tape all week long. it appears i have tape on even when i don’t actually have any on. it’s been that kind of life since last week and i’m surviving off tape job after tape job until i can go into physio. as it stands, my workload is so insane there’s no way i can take time off for an appointment. this doesn’t stop me from going to dodgeball, and won’t stop me from going to taekwondo 

day 1627 Рkillarney growth 

doing some paperwork administrative tasks while reflecting back on my teaching career thus far. since i have taken over as branch chief instructor in 2014, killarney saturday has steadily grown. it used to hover in the eighties and nineties, but that has changed since. one hundred and ten students enrolled across my saturday classes this term is an impressive number. the steady growth in the number of students is a compliment i’ll take. it just goes to show that i’ve poured my heart and soul into giving the best instruction i could possibly provide. i’d say i can say i definitely earned the lead role and. i intend on growing and improving killarney with each term

day 1503 – evaluation

vachl evaluation day for us new league players to be placed on teams. we skated through a number of skating and stick handling drills before a scrimmage. it was all pretty standard; was hoping my pregame workout didn’t tire out my legs as much. slightly shaken after a goalie poke check inadvertently speared me in the ribs but two breakaway goals to be happy about. it’s the first time mo decided show up to any of my hockey action; i thought i did fairly well for the most part. a subtle elated feeling to see that he can be there sometimes, even if he was only there for the hockey

a nobody

it’s not without reason that i have been eerily quiet about me and my life the past month. piecing together scattering thoughts, i have identified the main cause and finally come to reveal what’s going on. those who don’t know me may think it’s just mood swings, but it’s not. i have just quietly kept everything trapped inside and reserved all my feelings because i felt like a nobody. i felt like the relationship is no longer what it used to be. every time i see what this pair at the gym can do with each other, i can’t help when some enviousness creep in. the way they could be so down to earth and so supportive. and over the course of the weeks and months, i could see she’s feeding off of his support and making the gains of her fitness journey. i know not everyone envisions the same relationship goals, that’s just one of mine. tons of questions and uncertainties as to what the priorities really were. there’s been a lot of tears and negative thoughts going through my mind that i cannot slay. the nights were painful, the loneliness was strong and the darkness was enduring. for the last several weeks, i was under a lot of pressure where it got so much that i would unknowingly feel tears roll down when i’m idling alone at night. stupidly thinking that if i keep suppressing my feelings, it would eventually end. it obviously didn’t and weighed me down day after day. i couldnt hold it down any longer and finally erupted last night. the situation may not change overnight or change at all, but steps are required. at least i put it out there so mo know how i felt and what’s making me depressed. i don’t have a dependent persona, but maybe i need to be more independent than i already am

day 1389 – lightly


with the way my life has been lately, today brought a slight smile that i haven’t seen or felt in weeks. got the nod from the chiro as long as i promise to keep it light and away from his nono list. went through all my big lifts but at most seventy percent of what i usually do. everything within my execution felt fine except for the bench. still no olympic lifts, plyos, overheards, nor ballistic movement, but just being back brought a smile to my face