day 834 – i like climbing

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wandering around false creek on this off day doing what i like to do, climbing things and breaking rules. yes, there’s a sign that says please do not climb, but sometimes it’s worth pushing boundaries. spending remembrance day going about some adventures, then also being proactive and completing a circuit before the day’s end. everything i accomplished felt like a very fulfilling day to me and i really do wish i could have more days where i feel this way

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mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me

day 815 – chances slipping

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the registration deadline is closing in and my chances of being able to compete is diminishing. it’s looking a lot like i have to give up my hope of competing in pan am club cause i still am not cleared to kick. i was really looking forward to going to this one but wouldn’t sacrifice quality just so i can go. a competition would lose its meaning if i went in under trained and not able to uphold my own standard. i know very well that i would feel even worse if i went and did subpar because i am not there to participate but to contend. i guess i will turn my attention to focus on rehab and prepare for what’s next in store for me

day 758 – physio checkup

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having my regular morning physio check up and it was a positive one, held up nicely since last visit and that’s huge for me. it’s a sign of progress and a big step in the right direction considering i have been doing a fair amount of my activities during this time span. my reward for having such positive feedback is some trolling courtesy of my physio and kinesiologist who demanded some unexpected numbers and then threw a curveball at me. i had a lot of hesitation but they gave me the sense there was no way out of it knowing i must do it or i am not going home

all in a days work

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this reminds me of my physio crew that serves me so well. they have tried to hammer that the feelings of soreness, tired, fatigue, exhaustion are all part of the package because it means the training is working. for all the years they have known me, they must have heard every possible reason or excuse from me by now and no longer adhere to what i say or how i feel. as far as they are concerned, they will push me as hard and as far as they see fit, and give me no breathing room to escape. my reasons have little or no effect on them, they just listen and look at me but do nothing to acknowledge. even when i plead i can’t, their response is only “i don’t care, you have or do it”. so i know whenever something asked of me seems insurmountable, my mind is constantly finding ways to cut myself some slack. but no matter what i say or plead, the demand doesn’t change but all these can’t thoughts comes out so naturally. but i am grateful for their uncompromising and unsympathetic attitude, because they see that i am capable of such and that’s the only way i will get better. it is the main reason i have made big strides in the right direction – towards a healthier me

day 580 – physio overpowers

image was given a hard time the minute i stepped in but i already knew that every time from now on will be no joke. kinesiologist only followed physio to step everything up a notch so to not get himself into trouble and even then physio finds ways to demand for more. when what was asked of me seemed impossible, i turned to my kin hoping he would be able to change his mind but physio is adamant in what he demands for. even when things are hard, i know i need that unforgiving push because i am guilty of always looking for a compromise