what you want

image

feel like i am falling off the train tracks and hitting a wall so another check in is required to make sure i know what i am doing. it’s hard to always stay on track, but always got to keep a tab on it and not let myself stray too far and even back pedal too much. when life is a long journey, must aim high and make meaningful goals and achievements to strive for. and throughout any undertaking of any goal requires discipline in many forms that makes the separation. unfortunately that also means times can get rough, minds can get lost and that’s what usually what happens to me far too often. it is important to know that the struggles and hardwork is part of the process and that the progress and eventual achievement will be well worth every ounce of effort i put in. the process is important, but knowing the reaching the top of the mountain and conquering every obstacle is the most rewarding feeling should be enough to keep at it. that i should be proud of reaching and striving, all for the greater good

Advertisements

reset in order

image

through my struggles in the last little while to get past some major mental block where i have attempted to shut off the world and kind of turned against myself. during this stretch, my confidence level wavered immensely because i am unsure where i am headed and unsure if where i want to go is even plausible. is this what i thought i wanted what i truly want to pursue or am i just doing it for the sake of doing it? so many of questions along the same line popped out in my head and i kept questioning myself. it is scary to think that i myself don’t even have any of these critical answers. after hermitting and mulling about these uncertainties for several days, i think i am creeping closer to getting my answers. i think i see the light in the darkness, but the rest is really up to me because it’s mental thing more than anything. i need to train and build up my mentality game to be ready for my competition game. i have been involved in competitions nonstop without any rest, and a mental exhaustion is probably the main spur of this endless self crushing mental block. so for now, i think it’s best for me to step back to look at the broader picture. when something is obviously not going right, it calls for a break to make some adjustments. i am not sure how short or how long of a break i need, but i am positive that when i make my return, i will be stronger and better in every way

resolution series: [twenty] happy

image

people can be too judgmental and materialistic these days. yes it’s true, you can’t live without money, but you can’t live with happiness either; and the last time i checked, money can’t buy happiness. sometimes it is the little things in life that makes all the difference in the world.  even as simple as an act of kindness can go a long with in someone else’s life. the ultimate goal is living a happy life and getting what you want out of life. be who you are and don’t let anything change you. do the things you like and don’t let other people tell you otherwise. it’s your life after all, so it’s better to live the way you want than to have someone tell you how to live your life. there used to be so many negative people in my life that always told me what i couldn’t do and what not do to. that’s more reason to prove them wrong and make sure they don’t make such assumptions again. i like my sports and activities. i am also aware that i am made of glass and gets injured easily, but that doesn’t stop me cause that’s what makes me. through sports i find happiness; its my happy place whenever i need to destress or digress. also enjoy hanging out and chilling with my friends, trying new things, eat out, traveling, exploring the city and the world. these things make up me and i can’t imagine my life without them. i will continue to pursue my dreams and passion for as long as i can

resolution series: [two] decisions

image

decision making is a skill that humans slowly develop over time, but one may not notice it is not an innate skill. every child starts off with their parents doing the decision making because we are too young to make sensible choices. i have always had my parents make decisions for me no matter how big or small and that carried through to up and including university. i started later than most people and have developed too much reliance on my parents and others which may be the cause of my often indecisiveness. all i ever did was go with the flow and following the the instructions they give. but there comes a time when they have to slowly let go and let me make more of the decisions. sometimes the choices i make will be good and sometimes not so good, but its all a part of growing up and a learning curve that i must make. sure enough my parents will always be in the background giving me logical advice to consider because they’ve been through something i haven’t yet. sometimes it’s as simple as choosing the shoe i want to wear, which may seem harder than it really is. but i am slowly getting the hang of it by taking charge of my choices and paving for the road i want to travel