day 899 – at the bar

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getting my lifting done this evening on an empty stomach and an afternoon of teaching can be pretty crappy. but i can’t be the one to complain, i deserved it because i regretfully failed to check into the gym this morning. cranking out my deadlifts anyways and really needing to empower myself to get back on track. it’s really time to tighten up and focus on my goals after deviating and spoiling myself too much this week

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day 839 – not right

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i had a great weekend, only up to the moment i realize i had disobeyed all that i said i would do. i am fighting myself and feeling torn inside because i walked in with a number in mind but went well beyond that limit, i don’t know how it got so out of hand. it’s only finally hitting me hard today, the wheels have really fallen off and i don’t even know where to begin to pick myself up. what a heart felt disappointment when i have regretfully misused the trust others had in me. i failed others and most importantly i have failed myself. need to learn that discipline is choosing between what i want now and what i want most. perhaps i must be stricter and harder on myself and start my climb from the bottom again. i guess i deserved to have both my pinkies sprained during practice

day 759 – price drop

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i was driving along knight street and couldn’t believe the price of gasoline tonight and obviously couldn’t miss out the chance to get cheap gas. haven’t seen this price in vancouver for so long and it’s definitely welcome to stay. with this price a full tank of gas could possibly cost me less than eighty dollars which is unheard of with inflation and the outrageous cost of living in vancity. better get it now cause i know it won’t last long

day 628 – and so it begins

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just as i had imagined, competition training gets real immediately after the completion of sun run. despite my body feeling good after the race, something tells me my groin is unhappy since it popped a total of eighteen times today – yes i was counting. i’ll let me physio take care of my groin and whatever other problems that may have arised from running that fundraiser. but the training plan doesn’t change, so here i am starting off with some much needed stretching because four weeks of minimal stretching and laziness has caused my splits to diminish

all in a days work

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this reminds me of my physio crew that serves me so well. they have tried to hammer that the feelings of soreness, tired, fatigue, exhaustion are all part of the package because it means the training is working. for all the years they have known me, they must have heard every possible reason or excuse from me by now and no longer adhere to what i say or how i feel. as far as they are concerned, they will push me as hard and as far as they see fit, and give me no breathing room to escape. my reasons have little or no effect on them, they just listen and look at me but do nothing to acknowledge. even when i plead i can’t, their response is only “i don’t care, you have or do it”. so i know whenever something asked of me seems insurmountable, my mind is constantly finding ways to cut myself some slack. but no matter what i say or plead, the demand doesn’t change but all these can’t thoughts comes out so naturally. but i am grateful for their uncompromising and unsympathetic attitude, because they see that i am capable of such and that’s the only way i will get better. it is the main reason i have made big strides in the right direction – towards a healthier me

day 580 – physio overpowers

image was given a hard time the minute i stepped in but i already knew that every time from now on will be no joke. kinesiologist only followed physio to step everything up a notch so to not get himself into trouble and even then physio finds ways to demand for more. when what was asked of me seemed impossible, i turned to my kin hoping he would be able to change his mind but physio is adamant in what he demands for. even when things are hard, i know i need that unforgiving push because i am guilty of always looking for a compromise

day 543 – graphics in thirty

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received an uber last minute graphics request tonight at 10pm to produce something with deadline being tomorrow noon. so here i am ready to sleep feeling ill and crappy, but instead i am still up trying to whip up a graphics at 1am. this is as good as the graphics gets because i simply wasn’t given enough notice for this work and i will not accept another graphics request with two hours lead time