day 1457 – sushiuomo

img_20200203_1514382866169907070613394.jpgi quite like the new place we found and the temakis that was served. it was a feel good kind of day because i felt encouraged at work when my manager told me he praised me during the management meeting for how well i’ve been developing the new collection and the rhythm the technical team is in. makes me understand that my hard work isn’t transparent and good managers will always be there to let you know that

mental game

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bad habits always gets me. every time i feel like i am in exhaustion, i will stop short of completion and make myself believe enough is enough. i have just come to accept the fact that my mental game is not as strong as it needs to be, and that there’s nothing i can do to improve that aspect. this shortcoming is probably an explanation as to why my game has remained stagnant over the years, where i stop short and fail to take my game to the next level. and this only becomes a cyclical process where when i don’t perform well, i tend to hang my head but not focus on finding the underlying problems and dealing with it head on. just today i was reminded that my body is stronger than i think and when fatigue sets in, the mind is usually the first to give in. so when training in and out of the gym, or anywhere for that matter, it is as much training for my mentality as it is for my physicality. it is good that i get to work alongside some of the most motivational individuals because reality is i need constant reminder that i must stop at nothing until i push out the last rep of the last set. the kind of people that are never satisfied and always challenging me to be better and only then will i come to the realization that i can do things i thought i never could. these individuals keep me honest and lets me know that i ain’t going anywhere until i complete it cause anything below my maximum capability is unacceptable.  i think my recent knee ligament that made me forgo my november competition really caused the damage – in a good way. there’s been a recent spark in me that i want it more than ever before; that i am willing to work hard for what i want to achieve and i am going to tackle my weaknesses head on. i no longer want my game to remain the same. i have some ambitious goals to reach and it certainly wouldn’t reach itself. i am ready to take that next step in further enhancing my game, and i am determined to do whatever it takes. the power is in me and it is up to me to train it to work to live up to my fullest potential. i do believe it is in me

day 824 – quick start

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daylight savings ended last night and that extra hour of sleep is much welcomed for a sleep deprived me, but now is when the darkness really hits us. i need to find the motivation this season when i wake up in night fall and go home in night fall. starting off november with a gym session is a step in the right direction, even though i am outright sore. even then i would call it a good start to the month and hopefully stays that way. the next couple months will be busy and important, but november is crucial for all turning points. it’s time to grind everyday out and learn a little something about accountability

go time

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there’s so many haters out there and no matter how you try change their outlook, haters are going to hate. but i can’t worry about them and let them tell me otherwise. if they have nothing positive to say, i couldn’t care less about these haters and their worthless opinions. the best thing to do is just want to carry on with my missions and prove them wrong. let my actions speak for themselves and eventually they will either have to take back their criticism or eat their words. since the only thing in my control is to go out and do what i need to do, the rest will follow. if my mind is set on doing something, i should never fall short of doing so just because of someone’s comments. i honestly don’t need these people’s approval in order to fulfill what i believe are my goals, ambitions and what i consider to be the best that i can be. understand that they are haters for a reason – because they simply see you as a threat to be better than them and fail to keep up with you. it’s also not practical to have anyone take anything away from how hard i work and how bad i want to achieve something. bottom line is if it feels right, i will do everything i can to make it happen. end of story. it’s that simple and doesn’t need to be made complicated

today is the day

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sixteen days out, i have no time to waste and i lot to gain. today is the day that i get down to business and do whatever is required. i regretfully say that i have been way too slack recently resulting in having back tracked much too far.  i need force myself to get back into both my training and eating regime in a quick hurry, meaning no more junk and cheat meals and no more skipped trainings or gym sessions. but no more setbacks and no more straying allowed because there’s simply no backing down now. everything including my membership, flight, hotel, car, registration are all confirmed, so there’s really only one way to go – through. got my goals set, my days marked and my schedule planned, so now is the time to get into action and not give my plan a chance to falter. the only difference this time from all previous times, and might i add the most daunting thing, is i am going to have to get this done alone. i need all the support in the world and all the luck i can get. it’s now or never

day 677 – last of it

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hamberite catching up time with more shaved ice at icepik which was fitting for a scorching hot sunday afternoon. call me old school, i stuck with green tea flavour just like last time despite hundreds of other possible combination. i promised myself this is the last of the dessert pigging out for a while because there’s been too much of it lately and not doing me any good

resolution series: [twentythree] progress

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no one is perfect, but everyone is working towards being the best they can be. twelve years ago, when i first stepped foot in my physiotherapist’s clinic, i had no idea it would be such a long journey full of changes and learning curves. from a girl who couldn’t do a single exercise given to me no matter how basic. from a girl who wouldn’t put any effort into trying to do the exercises no matter what was assigned. to a girl who can now do all that plus weights and equipment thrown at me for different variations and increased difficulty. at that time, i bet my kinesiologists were very frustrated with me and wondered what was wrong with this girl because i didn’t put any effort in trying to complete any exercises they asked of me. through the years, they have opened my eyes to a whole new world, making me understand why i had to do what i was told. slowly i began to listen and understand how my body works and what i need to do for it. taekwondo didn’t start off easy for me, i went through some rough patches and stretches were i wasn’t feeling it. i wasn’t trying hard, i let things slip under the rug but gladly someone pulled me aside to let me know that half-assing wasn’t acceptable. he woke me up by telling me i shouldn’t settle for anything less for my best and never play down to my classmates’ level. if it weren’t for that lecture, i was probably ready to call it quits and would never have made it this far. i can safely say that there are many things that didn’t start off well but turned out well because someone out there decided to take it upon themselves to make me understand the importance of putting in the work and effort. ever since then, i have taken big strides in the right direction and to make the necessary progress

resolution series: [ten] fitspo

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for kids, bumps and bruises, sprains and breaks heal quickly. but once the teens passes you by, you realize these problems persist longer than what you are used to. you can no longer be as carefree when attempting something because that innocence starts to leave your mind and childhood is inevitably leaving your body. that’s for normal people, but it’s an entirely different story for me. i started getting injured at a very early age and because sports is my passion, it makes it my weakness. my personality and lack of patience doesn’t allow me to rest long enough before going back out and playing again. without letting it heal properly like it should, i push it far too hard much too soon. i have been fortunate i have had an awesome physio overlooking me for over the past dozen years cause without him, i either will not be walking today, or wouldn’t be involved in any of the sports. because of the team that supports me in the back end, i can continue to do the things i love. when i was younger, i never fully understood why they were forcing me to do all these training and boring rehab exercises, but i slowly come to realize what they put me through is only for my own good. ever since then, i told myself i would make that change by listening to them and letting them push me as hard as they see fit. it gives me the satisfication to look back at when i first started and notice how much better and stronger i have gotten over the years and the work and effort i pitched in are finally starting to pay off. the deal is simple, i do my maintenance work and take care of my body the right way, then i get to go out and do my thing. i need to continually get stronger in order to get better at what i do and be the best that i can be. taking care of my body is definitely top priority in the long run. and when i stray away from that, my wallpaper and backgrounds act as a reminder to always shut up and train

day 660 – going all in

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it’s all or nothing, like gambling at the casino. the only difference is i am in total control of the outcome. i think i give myself too much pressure cause i have my own standards and cannot afford to lose. i’d be performing not only in front of the grandmaster, the instructors that’s taught me from the very beginning, but also the students that i have been teaching. saved up all my scholarships so i could use it altogether at times like this. saying goodbye to all the awards, now i am feeling poor all over again but at least i am using it for something worthwhile

resolution series: [five] follow your dreams

imagethere comes a time when self doubts and uncertainties creep into your mind and you wonder if what you are doing is the best thing. unlike math, there is no formula in life that calculates and spits out values or absolute answers of what is the best for you. as long as you do what your heart desires, it is the right thing to do. i feel like the last little while my life has been a roller coaster ride, sometimes soaring sky high and other times simply free falling. recently, i have been in limbo whether i have lost track of what i am doing and if that is still where my interest lies. i don’t want to be endlessly chasing something just because someone said i have to or just doing it for the sake of doing it. been putting a lot of thought into finding all the answers to what i really value, what i want to achieve in life, what i want to be known for, what legacy i want to leave behind and ultimately what path i want to take. i have gotten answers in some aspects, but i still have much to figure out. i understand these money answers will not come overnight because no one will ever have it crystal clear in its entirety and it is something one will take a lifetime to find out. john lennon once said, “everything will be okay. if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” as long as i am progressing, i will let everything come to me and take it one step at a time, one answer at a time. stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid to follow your heart, follow your dreams. it also happens to be my motto i live by