day 1606 – photorefractive

didn’t end up having surgery done for my thumb back in october, but i certainly am having one done today. it took quite some courage to pull the trigger but prk finally done in the books. it’s a huge trigger and a huge change that i gladly braved, knowing it will be miserable during recovery stages. it involved a large sum, but i’m all in to making everything about my future brighter. rarely do i make clear cut decisions, but this one i made with confidence, for it will pay dividends in the long run


day 1590 – grip and pinch

another vgh rehab visit, first whirlpool therapy, then some wax therapy, then physical therapy. also did a couple functional tests and found out some interesting info. i found out i remain deviations above the standard with most of my strength, that is for anything that doesn’t require that one thumb. hand therapist was obviously trying to tell me be patient when there’s progress, but i really was only interested in knowing one thing. she left me with plenty of homework, all of which is fifty repetitions of things to do with balls and with bands

day 1584 – over and done

it’s finally made official, but deep down i know it’s over for the better. the decision to leave at one of my most critical time was already a telling tale; but i learned to bare next to no expectations from then on. if i was able to survive that storm alone, i’d be able to manage others just fine. i don’t understand why i held on even when i wasn’t happy, when letting go makes me hurt less. lots of things are about to change. it’s time to reset myself and get back to understanding what my own priorities don’t need to live in the shadows of everyone else’s

day 1492 – low light 

change of plans and headed straight home because the low blood sugar hit me this afternoon. required a short nap and woke up feeling so so but still set on a trip to nash anyway. did not expect a whole lot so but nothing bad happened so i’d say i passed. trying to brush off the disappointments one after another, but at the end of the day i need to learn i’m living for myself and doing what’s best for me. maybe it’s good to learn to expect everything from myself and expect nothing from others

day 1415 – venturesome 

hustling hard everyday just to fulfill vancouver’s living standards. trying to hustle harder to hunt down my future unit in the rising economy. at the end of each long work intensive day, i tell myself i’m going to get rewarded in the end – somehow, someway. in the meantime, the little periodic getaways are the highlights i look forward to; well earned time off to relax. i will be back for more adventures after visiting places i’ve always wanted to visit. one day, i’ll get the hawaiian or beachy trip that i’ve always wanted

day 1332 – new pumps

the major delay is over as i decided it’s finally time to pull out the new pumps. they felt amazing from the get go and required no breaking in. doing the same program but only everything seemed so much harder after taking a whole month break. it was a battle, but the satisfaction of grinding through the workout and getting my squats done overpowers. i must say i missed those lifts and glad to be cleaning again. hopefully the pumps will spark my comeback and get me back on track 

day 1297 – where is it

not pleased that i just can’t find the determination i had when i was on top of my game. i’ve slipped far down and reality check startled me and no confidence took a big hit. i miss those days when i stayed focus on what i wanted. the hardest part is finding it and running with it. things will have to be different from here on because i can no longer tolerate my own  lapse