day 2303 – deterred

felt antsy and wanted to push my foot’s limit a little to see how it reacts. i did some step offs to test absorbing impact and it seemed fine. i then tried to jump onto a small box and that’s where the troubles began. i couldn’t bend very much before my foot gave in and collapsed in pain. no matter how many times i tried, i just couldn’t load my foot properly. discouraged enough, i moved onto test some squat positions and that was also concerning. narrow squat stance was painful but snatch squat stance was doable. i left pretty upset feeling no progress made with my foot

day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

day 1180 – snapped

image

the day started off well and ended off well but i let my emotions get the best of me in the afternoon. i was stupid, but i’m human too; when bent too far, i too, will snap. i made up for it by having a solid training session led by the grandmaster himself; good thing i didn’t disappoint him. i’m discouraged with the load put upon me and pulling me from all directions, but i’m more discouraged that i didn’t handle myself better. somedays i’ll have feelings, somedays i won’t; but i’ve learned that i will be okay because something better is on its way