day 1570 – ikea run

treated to ikea froyo for helping with the ikea run. haven’t been to ikea for some time and haven’t eaten anything from ikea in a long time. as much as i wanted to reject the extra calories knowing pubnight social food is in the evening, it was already bought for me. so much guilt as i hold onto this cone wondering what after effects it may have. i restrict myself to a deficit on a regular basis, so one day i will lose the fat name callings. until then, i’ll always be self conscious and not let myself always have what it craves

day 1301 Рself conscious 

img_20200204_1644373027913593232886851.jpgnot moving much and not being physically active has made me become self conscious and i’ve let it take over with my decision making. it’s only fair that if i can’t do what i want, it won’t get what it wants either. can’t help but feel undeserving so i skipped a meal or two and waited out my appetite. as long as i occupy myself, everything becomes psychological needs