day 1836 – twirls

two weeks of no progress drove me crazy and today i finally see marginal improvement from my last physio appointment. deep down i knew the answer was a no go even think about trying to go flipping. i shouldn’t risk screw up the slightest improvementby by forcing premature attempg. still, i felt like practicing my five forties so found some empty space at the gym and went at it. it’s rusty especially not being able to use my arms properly, but practice is practice

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day 1787 – mister donut

i drove to the entrance of flipping but thought better of myself than to force the issue. my spine is an integral part of me so turned around and decided to start my the munchies bonding earlier. the three of us ate so much during black panther night. we laid out everything on the table from sushi party tray, chicken nuggets, fruits, crab and buckets ice cream. i had a break through petting a dog for the first time in my life and i would never have done this if it was any other dog that was more cuddely than mister donut. he did not approach me to try to sniff or touch me for much of the night. at most, he stood in front of me to have a stare down. since he did nothing to me, i felt this was my only chance to touch a dog even though i feared for my life

day 1778 Рhandspring 

it was a rough day with so much fluttering through my mind and possibly a big decision oncoming. i few messages sent my way in the morning almost made me explode. i didn’t feel like going to flip after work, but i did anyway. wasn’t too bad with my first cracked at combos and crash course on front handsprings. i was, however, terrible at back tucks and didn’t bother doing anymore than three before i called it a day. i went home feeling quite disappointed and down. it’s just one of those off days that wasn’t meant to be, but i’ll come back clean and try again next time

day 1757 – coaching face

i laughed a little when a parent emailed me this picture that he captured while i was teaching. i guess my face said it all; i shall not show satisfaction for as long as i can ask for more. i’d be the first to admit i’m not an easy instructor to please because i’ll always be asking more of my students. overall, the progress they’ve shown through the training is telling. teaching aside, there’s a lot to ponder on in the next little while. so much up in the air that puts everything on the line. it’s a pretty big decision i cannot rush, but it’s a decision only i can make

day 1621 – big lifts


had an extremely late night but woke up early with a few things in mind. hitting the gym was mandatory, for today is designated for strength. the few hours of shut eye took a toll on me and took me a few hours to halt the lethargy. since i anticipated on training, i didn’t want to eat and went with the banana i stuffed down an hour ago. making my way to the gym with an empty stomach and was probably a horrible idea. i knew it was going to be a grind, but feels good to still have gotten through the heavy big lifts. with all that delay, i didn’t get any food in me until roughly half past five. need to be cautious not to be malnutritioned where all my meals are jumbled up like today 

day 1606 – photorefractive

didn’t end up having surgery done for my thumb back in october, but i certainly am having one done today. it took quite some courage to pull the trigger but prk finally done in the books. it’s a huge trigger and a huge change that i gladly braved, knowing it will be miserable during recovery stages. it involved a large sum, but i’m all in to making everything about my future brighter. rarely do i make clear cut decisions, but this one i made with confidence, for it will pay dividends in the long run

day 1548 Рhand specialist 


i know my way around the clinic the second time around and the same radiologist helped me take another batch of xrays. the bad news couldn’t get any worse each batch as the ones taken today shows my bone is now displaced and not in the right place. with that, the specialist decided surgery will take place tomorrow and i’ll be opened to do one of the two possible procedures. the news hit me hard, so stunned i wasn’t able to collect any of my emotions to react or think. the rest of the day was a blur because i felt completely empty inside with no feelings, no appetite, no motivation and none of anything. i beared all that burden alone as if i’ve always been alone from the start. i finally cried well into the evening and i’m glad i did; i found out at least i have emotions. i’m not scared of the procedure, but the thought of having something inserted in me makes me not me