day 1606 – photorefractive

didn’t end up having surgery done for my thumb back in october, but i certainly am having one done today. it took quite some courage to pull the trigger but prk finally done in the books. it’s a huge trigger and a huge change that i gladly braved, knowing it will be miserable during recovery stages. it involved a large sum, but i’m all in to making everything about my future brighter. rarely do i make clear cut decisions, but this one i made with confidence, for it will pay dividends in the long run

day 1501 – left or right 

couldn’t decide left or right so after an hour of the dilemma, i finally made a decision to get both. it’s so difficult to find a style that fits me well. the guy at shop had a difficult time finding one that fits me well that didn’t appear short on me. that’s when i knew my legs were unproportionally long. let’s hope i can decided on one before all the padding of the old one falls off

day 1442 – one on one’s 

manager taking me out for lunch followed by a review over coffee. together, we discussed a lot about direction and devised an action plan to get me there. he saw me as one that could grow and take on a leadership position. he then asked me what were things i could improve on; i knew where it was going before he even finished his question. two things really stood out to him – he wanted me to be more confident and more decisive

day 1301 – self conscious 

not moving much and not being physically active has made me become self conscious and i’ve let it take over with my decision making. it’s only fair that if i can’t do what i want, it won’t get what it wants either. can’t help but feel undeserving so i skipped a meal or two and waited out my appetite. as long as i occupy myself, everything becomes psychological needs

summer special

the end of september can only mean that summer is officially over. september was a rough month, but i had a great summer and offseason away from dodgeball and taekwondo life. it was a summer with lots of happenings, new undertakings and big decisions that involved making a change, stepping out of my comfort zone and of course taking a chance. i live a very active lifestyle and took full advantage of the extra free time i got this summer by making my lifestyle even more active. i found myself getting really into crossfit olympic lifting plus also making the one plate club which is a big improvement. although an injury has momentarily stopped me from lifting, nothing will stop me once i regain my health. i had a blast with mo going on adventures. together, we created a lot of lomoventures with the highlight being a nice harrison hotsprings getaway. needless to say, we’ve been through a lot and grown significantly. he’s basically my zen when i get too stressed and uptight about things. no relationship is completely problem-free – we’re not different, but we’ve done well in this area. we don’t always see eye to eye, but we make sure we’re created equal and know that we like each other for who we are, then we’ll work things out. other notable events include completing a spartan sprint, playing on a softball team, training with national team coach, hiking, joining a hockey league. and of course some things never change like hitting tennis balls, visits to physio, annual walk with the dragon and the random pigging out. i look forward to improving and building upon what summer 2016 was all about

 

day 1042 – fair ground

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it’s just like any other night hanging out high above the ground, except not. it’s just the same old me climbing on all inanimate objects, except different. it’s just one of those nights i wasn’t feeling like me and did a few unexpected things out of my norm. i have held it long enough and i knew it was only a matter of time before i blew. i don’t know if i made the right decision, but i made one and will stick by it

fight for it

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very, very late last night, i finally gathered the courage and came to a tough decision to pass up on this year’s us open. this may be a rare opportunity in my lifetime to partake in such a massive event of exceptional calibre. i never ever in my life imagined myself being granted this opportunity but maybe because of that, it instilled so much fear in me. it would have been a superb experience, but not one that i felt i was ready to take on alone. i didn’t feel like my physical capabilities nor my mental game was ready for this level of competition. i can’t deny i am very disappointed i choose to back out of these opens because it’s something i’ve been really looking forward to for months and months. sometimes i think i would hate myself for letting this chance slip away, but it’s a decision i made and one that i will be able to live with. i know that this decision was as tough on me as it was for those who devoted so much time and energy in me – with their heart and soul and giving me only positive encouragements. there’s several individuals i want to single out for they were always around to listen to all my rants, troubles and everything in between. but none more so than the hardass nazi who never stopped believing in me, who listened to my many insecurities and tried to put everything into perspective in order to will me to take the challenge. i can’t express my gratitude for all the support i have received along the way. i am sorry i couldn’t make this happen, i wished i could find the inner strength. i may seem down and out at the moment, but with time i will recuperate and bounce back stronger than before. i haven’t lost my passion for competing, it’s simply a little setback that i must overcome. moving forward, i will work extra hard to better prepare myself for nationals. it’s going to happen