day 2213 – term ends

i survived one of the busiest summer term in my years at killarney. taekwondo in general has taken a toll on me and given me a lot of pressure. past few weeks has been nothing but preparing my students for both the colour belt test and blackbelt test which takes place tomorrow and next sunday. i poured my heart and soul in preparing them, hoping that they can perform at their best. their test aside, i’m also thinking about a more daunting task and milestone for myself. a milestone that i do not feel prepared for because of the lack of guidance from the grandmaster. i know that i’ll have to gear down because the last thing i want is to disappoint

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day 1535 – office revolution 


made it into the office today and good to know that i was missed. it’s made official the main renderer has resigned, leaving me as the only renderer. my manager told me i am the front runner to step up into the role and be the next one. i’m extremely excited for the opportunity presented because it’s what i wanted. i’m scared that the bigger responsibilities may expand multi-fold and must learn the new programs with no support. it’s daunting just thinking about it, but it’s within my power to take, learn and grow into being something much bigger. afterall, my manager has the confidence in me and said i’ll go as far as i’m willing to

day 893 – tough decision

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alone late at night thinking long and hard about my decision. truly thankful for all the supportive feedback i’ve received from the people i’ve spoken with on this topic; it made this tough stretch a little less painful. i think i have made my final decision to pass up what i’ve been dreaming of the past half a year – a chance at us open. perhaps having this decision made will end all those nights of waking up at 4am feeling extremely stressed. i’m no doubt disappointed i chose to back out of this opportunity but i feel it’s the right decision at this point. i feel terrible for all those that put their time and energy into getting me ready for this event, i feel bad i couldn’t make it happen. maybe it’s a sign i need to work harder on both my mental and physical game to earn my ticket to a competition as grand as us open. i haven’t given up my competition dreams, it just means i get a head start to preparing and training for the future ones. next up: nationals

today is the day

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sixteen days out, i have no time to waste and i lot to gain. today is the day that i get down to business and do whatever is required. i regretfully say that i have been way too slack recently resulting in having back tracked much too far.  i need force myself to get back into both my training and eating regime in a quick hurry, meaning no more junk and cheat meals and no more skipped trainings or gym sessions. but no more setbacks and no more straying allowed because there’s simply no backing down now. everything including my membership, flight, hotel, car, registration are all confirmed, so there’s really only one way to go – through. got my goals set, my days marked and my schedule planned, so now is the time to get into action and not give my plan a chance to falter. the only difference this time from all previous times, and might i add the most daunting thing, is i am going to have to get this done alone. i need all the support in the world and all the luck i can get. it’s now or never

persist

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things in life that’s worth working for is rarely easy, but it’s these things that makes life interesting. it’s only human nature to give up when things get hard. it’s even easier for one to feel deflated and hopeless when life becomes more of a struggle. but just because things aren’t going our way now, doesn’t mean they will stay that way. it’s in your own control to turn things around one hundred eighty degrees and make it how you want it to be. starting something is never easy, but keeping up with it is even more difficult. the decision is made, i am about to take on a challenge that feels a little daunting with a lot of self doubts but i think once i persevere through that, i would come out a stronger and better person. eager to started because once i get my feet wet, there’s no turning back. it’s just another character building challenge with lots to prove and lots to gain. this will be an evaluation of how much i want it and how much i am willing to stick with it