day 2163 – sharing difficulties

a subpar session and horrible stretch has left me frustrated as ever. even the boston pizza spicy thai chicken wrap sitting in front of me didn’t change my appetite or mood. i didn’t expect to have this talk with the flightclub crew, but i realize we’ve become close friends that i’m okay with letting them in on some of my thoughts and feelings, and they also shared theirs. lately, lots of negative thoughts were floating through my head, all of which left me empty. feeling discouraged with the training and progress as of late, i was beginning to accept my fate in my freestyle dream. i opened up and almost cried, but they listened and seemed to understand what i’m going through. maybe they finally realize the strong outer shell i uphold isn’t so strong on the inside

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day 1856 – disassembled

pain is something i have a lot of experience of and much tolerance for. of the fifteen years i’ve been seeing my physio, i never felt so close to passing out from the pain inflicted. wanting to get me back into my sports and away from dysfunctional shoulder, he didn’t hold back and completely crushed me into bits. i laid on the massage table for an extra minute before i could regain my senses and pick myself off it and onto my feet. even at the end of the day, it hurt so much that my whole shoulder is numb and to the point it’s lost all its powers and ability to move. the analogy is a race car arriving at a pit stop to get ripped apart for repairs. felt a lot like physio tore me apart and reassembled my shoulder. this is the price i pay to fix my shoulder, but i’d rather pay for it to get me back in the game without restrictions