day 1922 – scholarship

grandmaster handed out scholarship to a few of us at the annual celebration party. it’s his way of encouraging us to take the next blackbelt test. to be frank, this amount covers only a small portion of the large sum. i’m not sure where i sit with this decision because it doesn’t necessarily change anything for me. there’s many reasons i don’t need it, but also many reasons to just do it. i’ll give it a little more thought over the course of the next month and see what type of commitment it requires

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day 1919 – laid back

a laid back thursday of just work and work. though i say laid back, it’s still a eleven hour work day for me. i was pretty brain dead by the time tutor came around and wished i could forgo that i take a nap instead. i went to tutor as usual because i felt committed and owed it to the students. today was all about math because both sisters had a math test coming up

day 912 – troublemakers

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as i sit in idleness today, someone sent a picture to remind me that i am missing my annual exec retreat. a season end retreat south of the border which will undoubtedly involve massive amount of eating, drinking, passing out, waking up hungover and then repeat. i’m disappointed that i am missing out on this retreat for other commitments. but when i think about it again, i am doing my body a huge favour – forgoing things that can’t be undone to the liver, and then i get over it

day 795 – weekend warrior

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feeling like a weekend warrior so i woke up early for a brief tennis session followed by gym. i am sick, but that doesn’t really stop me much, or at all. all this was completed before noon so onwards with the rest of my day. i miss going to this place so much but i know i will be back and need to be back much more consistently. my schedule this fall season just got a lot busier in a hurry but i wouldn’t complain because as long as my body can handle it, i will do it

respect myself

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there comes a time when i have to weigh in the goods and bads and determine what is best for me. i must stop serving others and stop doing things for the sake of doing things because life is not about what others want. i have a tendency of putting myself and my own well being in the backseat while always putting others first and making sure everyone else is content. part of the challenge of life is learning everyday, no matter who it may be and what stage of life you are at. lately, the advice crossed my mind to take the courage to step away from the things and commitments that no longer make me happy, that no longer gives me the satisfaction it once did. i feel like i am at a multi directional intersection where it’s time to make changes and decide what i want to hang onto, what i want to do, and what direction and aspect i want to take and improve upon. i would be the first to admit i take on a lot and not all are self chosen. my life would be a lot happier and a lot less grim once i determine what it is what drives my passion, and what commitments i need to leave behind. not saying that i will stop helping others, but first and foremost, i need to ensure that i have time for myself and am taken care of properly. i am urged to think more about myself and less of others; in other words listen to my beating of my own heart because my main purpose of existence is not serving the world. it may sound selfish, but i am simply trying to live and enjoy my life, just like how everyone else is

resolution series: [seven] family

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you don’t choose your family, you are born with it. never underestimate the power of family, it’s the most important thing in the world you don’t want to live without. it is what makes a house a home, filled with warmth, laughter and unconditional love. my family is the best people i know because they have been the biggest supporter for me through the years. my family is my strength and my weakness. they raised up me to the person i am today, they picked me up when i need it most, they paved the path that i traveled on, they let me stand on their shoulders when the fight gets tough and i would use all my power to defend them whenever possible. through the decades, we have spent time together on important dates and celebrated each of our birthdays and holidays as a family. life got a lot busier once i entered adulthood and took on a lot more challenges. i know they fully understand and support that i want to live my life with tons of commitments, sometimes sacrificing the amount of time spent with them. rest assured that my priorities haven’t changed; i will do what i can to make time for these special people, and have no doubts that whatever time we spend together is quality time. i grew up with these awesome people and i want to grow old together to be there for them when they need me most

resolution series: [six] unimportant things

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life isn’t made equal, but when it comes to time, everyone is given the same amount to work with everyday – no more, no less. since there’s a limit, one can only choose to include so much in their daily routine and screen out all the things that aren’t deemed worthwhile. but even after screening, we must then filter and sort out which of the commitments are priorities and require more attention. there is only that much time in a day to fit everything into my daily life. as it stands, my schedule is already far beyond packed. inevitably take a lot of responsibilities than the amount of time i can afford, too much for my own good cause i haven’t learned to say no. i try not to surround myself with all the drama queens and drama kings out there because i simply don’t have the time and energy to deal with them. drama can only lead to more stress than i can already handle. i need not to be involved in other unimportant business when i haven’t gotten complete control on my life. but until then, i will put my life, my problems, my wants and needs as top priority