reset in order

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through my struggles in the last little while to get past some major mental block where i have attempted to shut off the world and kind of turned against myself. during this stretch, my confidence level wavered immensely because i am unsure where i am headed and unsure if where i want to go is even plausible. is this what i thought i wanted what i truly want to pursue or am i just doing it for the sake of doing it? so many of questions along the same line popped out in my head and i kept questioning myself. it is scary to think that i myself don’t even have any of these critical answers. after hermitting and mulling about these uncertainties for several days, i think i am creeping closer to getting my answers. i think i see the light in the darkness, but the rest is really up to me because it’s mental thing more than anything. i need to train and build up my mentality game to be ready for my competition game. i have been involved in competitions nonstop without any rest, and a mental exhaustion is probably the main spur of this endless self crushing mental block. so for now, i think it’s best for me to step back to look at the broader picture. when something is obviously not going right, it calls for a break to make some adjustments. i am not sure how short or how long of a break i need, but i am positive that when i make my return, i will be stronger and better in every way

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day 695 – old quebec

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tough day of competition with some slippage and certainly disappointment. hit me harder than anyone can imagine but it’s a wake up call and learning experience. i have some thinking, regrouping and re-prioritizing to do when i get back, but i will come back strong. in the meantime, going into old quebec late at night with the purpose of sightseeing. the area is pretty neat with some resemblance of vancity gastown and yaletown. turns out we stopped by mcdonalds just to try the mclobster and some mcflurries. would be nice to come back during the day time if time permits