reflecting reality

img_20200203_1427116914704068731384794.jpghighschool really did feel like just yesterday. just like majority of highschoolers, i graduated and went onto university thinking i had it planned for the rest of my life. truth is, that thought couldn’t have been any more incorrect and far from reality. i went on to graduate just like how my parents had mapped it out, with an honours degree in environmental design. after a bachelor, i was suppose to do my masters of architecture and become a fully licensed architect. that never happened because acceptance rate was one in ten. i took a brief break but have been working since then. my point is, life is far from how i had imagined it straight out of highschool. i’ve chosen a less traveled career path unlike the stereotypical asian jobs. i’ve believed that my friends circle will remain unchanged. i’ve been misled that i’d meet someone who would treat me like a destination. i’ve learned that growing up requires unlearning the learned. it’s been a struggle as i continue to walk down this path establishing myself as a professional and finding where i truly belong. the start of the year has been really good to me; working my butt off has earned me respect within my peers. i’ve climbed the work ladder real quick liked my manager forewarned, and as a result have been delegated a lot more responsibilities. nothing was given to me; i had to step up and grasp all the windows of opportunities. because of the obstacles and challenges i overcame, i have become the strong woman i am today. i’m not where i want to be yet, but with my grit drive and determination, i’m have full confidence i will make my dreams a reality. i’m on a mission to finding myself and finding my strong. this is where it all starts and where everything will come together for me

day 1449 – platform

working on the timing of my high pull now that i can get back to doing full cleans. each rehab session is challenging but offers so much more than just regaining what i had lost. i get worked quite hard each time; my shirt is drenched in sweat by the end, but i like that it keeps me on my toes. my kineis plays a big part in fast tracking me to regain my strength and form. he along with chiro is building me stronger a better for the progress that’s expected to come. best of all, i no longer feel like the remnants of my accident  hinders my body from doing my activities. i just need to work on and take care of the injuries i have racked up as of late

day 1308 – work anni 

three months ago today was my first day, how time has flown by. my role has changed since the switch of design manager; the pace is much quicker, the work load is much higher and the responsibilities have increased. the things i am in charge of now is much more challenging, but also more in line with what i enjoy doing. there’s a lot to learn but this is how it should be in order to grow

day 1259 – moving in

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a change of seating arrangement gets me a corner table with more space and more privacy. i’m liking the switch and totally owing this space to make it my third home. the extra real estate come with greater responsibility, higher expectations and more workload as the manager has assigned me to a team and some projects. i’ve gotten so busy already because they’re pushing me out of the shallow end. that’s a good sign because i’m given the opportunity to climb the ladder faster

day 1245 – disc pistol

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i rolled my eyes when i was first introduced to pistols three years ago because i didn’t think i could. i was in for a big surprise today  when i found out i mastered the weighted disc pistol. i’m very happy this was unlocked at my morning appointment today. i have no idea how many times i watched and rewatched this clip. of course, this all happened prior to being treated by the physio when he forcefully adjusted my knees and rearranged my back and ribs that’s still preventing me from cleans

day 1017 – semifinals first

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day two at calgary olympic oval is a big day – it’s competition day. the division is stacked with many torontonians who tends to lead canada’s competition. having said that, i went through all my pregame preparation like i set out to and only concentrated on what i had to do. the focus is getting into finals; that itself was my first big challenge of this year’s nationals. toronto owned the podium once again, but i gained lots of valuable experience  and knowledge through it all. it was a performance i could be satisfied with for i knew i made vast improvements from last year. lots to do for offseason training, but i’m ready and willing to work hard to take it to the next level

dream it

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it’s march, so time for a little self reflection and self motivation to get it together and get things done. but truth is, there’s never a bad time plus there’s always room to give myself motivation because i am really bad with sticking with it. first off, a little recap of what went on in the month of february. needless to say i strayed somewhere in between, but i am stoked i reached some big milestones on the last week of the month. moving into another month means going back to the drawing board to set bigger, better and more ambitious goals. in my calendar, this month is marked down as march madness because there’s a lot of craziness on the line that i cannot afford to lose. i say this with utmost seriousness that this month will really make me or break me. i do plan on achieving lots and making many breakthroughs this month. with my competitions on the horizon, i have to really gear down because there’s no room to falter. rest assured i will be working my butt off to ensure things happen. the two main ingredients i have on my checklist are staying focused on my goals and keeping my discipline in check. working on myself and taking a page out of walt disney that what i can dream up is what i can achieve. upping my self confidence and mental strength is a key factor to killing this march madness. the countdown is on which makes me ultra nervous and at times afraid, but it’s a challenge i must take on and a challenge i will own

resolution series: [one] finish

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life presents many unexpected circumstances that act as distractions away from our intended goals. with so much going on in our daily lives, it’s easy to lose sight of what we need to focus on and follow through with. i always need to be reminded to finish whatever i started because i have the tendency of always wanting to give up when things get hard, particularly for things that i am not good at. i have been on the receiving end of many wake up calls and lectures that i must stop avoiding my weaknesses and in turn confront them head on. some things just came to me naturally; i need not to put much effort in to succeed. i have little problem following through with what i excel at but that cannot be said for things that didn’t come naturally. i excelled in swimming at a young age and swimming was my life. but when life got busy, i quit just short of getting my lifeguard certification and it still haunts me to this day. taekwondo came naturally early on but since i am so injury plagued, countless people tried to make me stop. but no matter how many times i fell and how many challenges and injuries i faced, i got back up and did what i needed to do. i wanted to prove everyone wrong and more importantly, i wanted to do this for myself and make up for my past regrets. running was never my thing as i found it boring and tiresome but i put in the effort to make improvements in this area. since i began taking rehab and strengthening exercises seriously, i have made leaps and bounds in my ability and recovery but there’s still a long way to go to get to where i want to be. so this year, i want to make my best effort to work on all those weaknesses and train it to become my strength. i know i cannot always carry self doubt with me everywhere, i just go out and make it happen

face it

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after getting some unexpected news on unreasonable competition policy and feeling rather disheartened, i have really let it slip and fallen off the tracks completely. at a point where i am getting the feeling i am on the verge of giving up and hanging it up because it no longer satisfies me the way it used to. maybe i am feeling the pressure of all the expectations and i worry i won’t live up to it. or it could be the preposterous conditions and requirements the school is imposing that’s making me feel like they are denying our opportunities to grow and improve. it scares me to have the feeling that the competition doesn’t mean as much to me anymore because my interest doesn’t lie within the provinicial level. i don’t want to lose sight of the intended goals and give up on the things i have been striving for all this time because i am not ready to let it end. given the circumstances and the time constraints i have to work with, i can’t afford to have any off days that will ultimately put me two steps back each time. really needing a little push to get back in the groove, because it’s coming up so soon and time is a pressing issue. it’s a challenge i will have to face and push through the mind block no matter how much i disagree with their decision

day 559 – what sun run

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what i was hoping would not happen is happening and i would deny the truth as long as i can. i received the confirmation package that i am registered for the sun run in two months time. been years since i last did the sun run when someone forced me so they could get bonus marks and did not thoroughly enjoy the process. i am not a cardio or running person but i guess it is a challenge i will have to accept. i might as well do some training to prevent humiliating myself