day 1522 – cavity check 

an extra unpleasant filling cause dentist said he had to use laser to cut some of the gum. that explains why i had four shots and still felt the numbing two hours into teaching. it makes eating difficult and it makes me hungry and not hungry at the same time. at the end of the day, i find myself a bit more disappointed with each passing day. it felt promising at times, but in the end i still haven’t been convinced. i’m still alone second guessing whether i’m only good and wanted when i’m willing to do what’s asked. it feels as though it’s more for the benefits and less of what my needs are. as long as i have this feeling, i will have my guard up and find ways to refuse it no matter deprived or not

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day 1497 – dentist appointment 

i have always detested going to the dentist as a kid and i still do to this day. the constant rattling and ringing of the machine bothers my eardrums even well after i leave the office. even well after i leave the office. and at the end of sixty minutes, my dentist will tell me how many cavities i have. being calcium deficient means i can’t do much to avoid cavities