day 2523 – nothingness

i had a super frustrating training session at tricking and left the gym crying. i’ve been going at cart fronts and btwists for some time but there’s next to no progress to show for. the coach would point out that i’m doing things wrong, but no matter what i do, i can’t seem to do what the coach is telling me do so he’s also given up on me. as much as i want to slow down and work on the technique, i don’t know how it feels like to be right. i feel so hopeless that part of me thinks i should give up on it because i’ll never get it. i’m told to take a break and work on something else, but that’s happened for all my moves, and as it stands i’ve accomplished nothing

day 2504 – after class fronts

this week covers one of the move i really want – cart front. i was tired from the heavy squats earlier in the morning, but i really wanted to keep practicing after class. the coach came up to watch, but was displeased with what he saw and how i was drilling it. i felt bad because i let him down; he had every right to be angry. he grilled me until i could do it with the proper technique he wanted and sometimes being pushed hard is what makes me dig deeper. i really do appreciate that he spent time after hours helping me out with a move i really wanted. he’s also the one that doesn’t give a crap about my self confidence. i know i can handle it, but it’s also demoralizing

day 2000 – flip flops

it was one of those few flip sessions where my flips felt pretty strong. signs of improvement in my back tuck where i landed some solid ones both spotted and unspotted. cart front off the air track felt pretty good; good enough i even gave front twist a few tries. randomly revisited websters and for the first time, landed on my feet in the red. i think i have what it takes to land them, but i do know it’s a lack of confidence, which was also pointed out. i’m really aiming to hit something in january. there’s a few things on the top of my list: roundoff back tuck, gainer, moon kick, flash kick, and websters are amongst my top