day 1636 – coached to coach 

playing giant scrabble with the letters from my cnc cut as i prepare for my showtime presentation slides. sitting down with my manager to go through my catalytic coaching, a performance review of the previous year and a forecast of what’s to come and expected of me this year. it was valuable time spent with him as we went off the record behind closed doors. the feedback and voices were quite meaningful and surprising. i left the room having a good sense of my value is within my team, within the company and where i’m heading. in two weeks time it will be me running the review for my team members

day 1528 – more student

more work coming my way, taking on another student. she approached me for help and i’m a willing helper, though the obstacle is also time availibility. i’ll have to figure out my already crammed schedule to see how i can accommodate the both of them; at least i know i’m wanted somewhere. somehow, somewhere i think i was born to teach something since i find teaching all the time

day 1430 –  squat hard 

i was definitely frustrated waking up because i stayed up working on payroll and i woke up with another email of explanations. work in the afternoon dragged on and i longed to get out. i didn’t feel particularly good during my workout today and felt weaker than other days. schedule just haven’t had time to hit up the gym. not having done so all week long is really showing in my squats but i still hit it hard knowing i’ll feel it even harder the next day

diminishing return

i take pride in what i’m capable of and the steps towards progression. i get that not everyone will appreciate accomplishments the same way. i’ve been on the receiving end of far too many discrediting comments that has no sentimental value. it would be nice to pay respect for my abilities when due instead of always heaving knit picky deconstructive criticism. leave it behind if it’s all negativity with no good intent; just don’t expect any in return. i’ve been disappointed that communication has been sparse and lacking lately. understanding the busy schedule that we run, there’s no reason to have no contact or replies until well after the fact. i no longer want to force anything so i’ll respond when i’m asked, otherwise i’ll stay behind the scenes and mind my own business. it’s kind of taken some of the joy out, but at least i’m not talking to myself. these are the little things that show a lot. life is a two way street and i’m a true believer in what you give is what you get in return. my patience isn’t unlimited so i won’t continually give knowing there’s nothing in the other direction