day 1553 – bpm meetingĀ 

mid week morning meeting is tough without a splash of caffeine. i was suppose to take a half day off last week but that didn’t happen. the form was filled out and sitting on my desk since mid july, but finding an appropriate day to take my half day off is harder than i thought. if i continue to fail, it will turn into twenty days of consecutive work. working fifty seven hour a week is like a fourteen day work week and i definitely don’t want to get sucked into doing that like before

day 1530 – plating

my kineis put one plate heavy squats on the rehab menu and i delivered. he was impressed, and i was sort of too; he even said he underestimated me all this time. my squats felt pretty good today despite my head feeling really off from the moment i woke up at 6am. work was especially busy as i have a deadline this week; downed a few advils and onwards with work. geared down and pushed through the rest of work, tutor, meeting and then rehab. i feel a lot better halfway through my rehab stint; my body is more intact and stable as opposed to a wreck eight weeks ago

day 1497 – tirelessly going

been hemmed in developing this new collection. after fiddling with lighting settings and going through many partial renders and trial runs, this is the first fully rendered room i can settle with. keeping busy and overloading myself with eleven hours so there’s no idle time and nothing else but work. if i could squeeze work in every sector of my day to occupy my mind, i need not to worry i’ll be thinking, feeling or crying. the best solution i can come up with until i can no longer take it

day 1481 – stat work

the office was as empty as the roads were during rush hour today. the office was quiet on a statutory holiday but the increased productivity was much needed for my friday deadline. feeling unrested and uneasy all week long because all i can think about is my teammates flying off to nationals; i should be with them, but i’m not. i’ve been using many things to numb my feelings and emotions until something can act as sleeping pills. work is one of them and i keep being my workaholic self to not allow myself any down time so i don’t end my night in tears

day 1472 – off the post

dropped off my family for their flight to hong kong first thing, coached a morning of poomsae competition, and taught my usual taekwondo. ten hours without break before heading to my drop in game. playing drop in really cautiously so not to reaggravate my poor back and neck. surprisingly had a solid game on both ends of the ice with scoring chances, reading passes, and making back checks. i came really close but the goalie robbed me of a nice one timer. later, i had the goalie beat twice but only to have the post deny me both times. i will figure out way to find the back of the net again but overall happy with how my back responded – not worse than before the game 

day 1331 – all businessĀ 

although i don’t need this to feel like i belong, it doesn’t stop me from feeling more legitimacy. work has been really busy at the office this week; put more work in doing overtimes but the pile doesn’t seem to be getting less cause more work keeps coming in. time goes by so fast when everyone is pestering me because they seem to think their project needs to be prioritized first

day 1328 – medium roast

the work week started off crazy as anticipated; four projects deadlines on my list has me staying after hours. downed a few columbian medium roast to keep up the productivity level and make it through overtime. the pace has really picked up since switching over to different role, but it’s good to be busy. i’ll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to push for the submission deadline