day 1497 – tirelessly going

been hemmed in developing this new collection. after fiddling with lighting settings and going through many partial renders and trial runs, this is the first fully rendered room i can settle with. keeping busy and overloading myself with eleven hours so there’s no idle time and nothing else but work. if i could squeeze work in every sector of my day to occupy my mind, i need not to worry i’ll be thinking, feeling or crying. the best solution i can come up with until i can no longer take it

day 1481 – stat work

the office was as empty as the roads were during rush hour today. the office was quiet on a statutory holiday but the increased productivity was much needed for my friday deadline. feeling unrested and uneasy all week long because all i can think about is my teammates flying off to nationals; i should be with them, but i’m not. i’ve been using many things to numb my feelings and emotions until something can act as sleeping pills. work is one of them and i keep being my workaholic self to not allow myself any down time so i don’t end my night in tears

day 1472 – off the post

dropped off my family for their flight to hong kong first thing, coached a morning of poomsae competition, and taught my usual taekwondo. ten hours without break before heading to my drop in game. playing drop in really cautiously so not to reaggravate my poor back and neck. surprisingly had a solid game on both ends of the ice with scoring chances, reading passes, and making back checks. i came really close but the goalie robbed me of a nice one timer. later, i had the goalie beat twice but only to have the post deny me both times. i will figure out way to find the back of the net again but overall happy with how my back responded – not worse than before the game 

day 1331 Рall business 

although i don’t need this to feel like i belong, it doesn’t stop me from feeling more legitimacy. work has been really busy at the office this week; put more work in doing overtimes but the pile doesn’t seem to be getting less cause more work keeps coming in. time goes by so fast when everyone is pestering me because they seem to think their project needs to be prioritized first

day 1328 – medium roast

the work week started off crazy as anticipated; four projects deadlines on my list has me staying after hours. downed a few columbian medium roast to keep up the productivity level and make it through overtime. the pace has really picked up since switching over to different role, but it’s good to be busy. i’ll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to push for the submission deadline

day 1318 Рclubhouse 

practicing for queen’s tournament in this private clubhouse. my arm didn’t hold up for long before it went dead halfway through. good thing i’m going into my chiropractor tomorrow. thank goodness i made it to friday after feeling unwell for most of it. everyday since i returned from portland, with the exception of wednesday, has been a late night. i really need to set a protocol for my sleeping schedule because i don’t foresee my schedule slowing down this month

day 1315 – roost

the morning wasn’t so bad as i worked through the fatigue to get my conference call done. it only hit me when the caffeine wore off and i clearly suffered from the afternoon crash. i went straight home and took a nap to make up some sleep. woke up but couldn’t work so i took some medicine, mulled around and went to sleep again. that’s what four hours of sleep will do. things just doesn’t slow down even after competition travels