day 1558 – me menu

called everything off and put myself and only myself on today’s menu cause i need time alone to set my priorities straight. absolutely no work related tasks today – no work for the first time in sixteen days. i was going down the wrong path of cramming work in to avoid idle time which in turn has even more negative effect on my mental health. can’t say i’m not a workaholic but then realized i was more burnt out than ever. so first time sleeping in until eight, helped my parents moved furniture, went for a workout and cleaned my room. that is not to say i don’t see the relationship struggles, but we’ll both be working on it together. i do feel better thinking i’ve reset my priorities and reorganized my life for the upcoming week

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day 1555 – victim 

i had a lot of trouble sleeping tonight. what makes me such a good victim for people to hurt and take advantage of. i guess my feelings can be swept aside, guess promises can be broken, guess what i like or don’t like doesn’t matter anyways. at first i didn’t think i was fat but being repeatedly called that makes me believe i am indeed fat and repeatedly makes me skip meals. even after long days i force myself through the fatigue to come here simply cause i can’t eat unless i exercise. today is one of those days where i’m feeling completely burned out from a fifty eight hour work week but still dragged myself to workout because my dinner is not yet earned

day 1018 – touring calgary

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after our run at this year’s nationals, we are wandering the streets of downtown calgary. we saw snow and rain in the first three days in calgary, but glad our fourth day was a warm and sunny one. this trip was been leg intensive as if we didn’t spend enough time walking and standing on our feet at the championship, we decided to do more of that. spark science centre, calgary tower, chinatown, stephens avenue and the core shopping mall were amongst the many places we visited. it was a good trip with teambonding time, but we’re all burnt out. i was ready to head home to see mo, but it won’t be long before i fly off again