day 2267 – brief scare

taking that puck off my arm in last night’s game was a heart stopper for sure. my mind flashed back to so many things that happened during the time i broke my thumb. it narrowly missed my wrist bone; had it hit, i can’t imagine what the outcome could’ve been. i had at looked at by my physio friend and thankful i didn’t have to go to the hospital. i admit i play aggressive, but i swear i’m not careless

day 2180 – three bag

left my jersey in the wash, but at least i found a shirt to wear. first time i’m fielding on the right side of the diamond at third base. i was ready to take some balls off the body because the ball really kicks up after a bouncing on gravel. ended the night with only two bruises, one on the bicep and one on the stomach. i haven’t figured out how to take high balls off the backhand but i did made some pretty good stops and threw out two runners at first base. the team played really well defensively considering we were playing opponents a tier above

day 2006 – scrim gone wrong

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clearly someone taking scrimmage a little too seriously. the aftermath of a collision during powerskating scrimmage because a try-hard hit me not once, but twice. i took no exception to his second offense and decided to go straight for the bodycheck to knock him on his ass. i’m not sure what he’s trying to prove standing up against someone half his size, but its not welcome here. if i could, i would have knocked him over again because once just wasn’t enough to satisfied the rage inside

day 1409 – colours

img_20200204_1609331083885442243107174.jpgi keep thinking what a bad week it’s been with stresses coming from both spectrum. however, it could have been so much worse. i know it’s never a smooth sail across any sea, this is just a bump in our trail. i contemplated so long before speaking, but i’m glad i did or else i would still be hiding all my emotions in the dark. i’m not sure what to think of it, but being able to speak is probably a good thing

day 951 – pants on

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i spoke too soon and now i am once again out of commission. misfortunes happen and sometimes i lose all my motivation because i can’t seem to catch a break. i’m not going into details and won’t be disclosing any pictorials. all i’m saying is i’ll be switching back to wearing my pj pants around the house as opposed to shorts so my parents will not freak out. last thing i need is to give my parents more things to worry about and more reason to ask me to stop my activities

day 930 – head tangled

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this is what happens when my mind is not there while i am trying to do box jumps. carelessly doing things while i am physically present but mentally absent. my brain just hasn’t been able to focus on the tasks at hand because all the stresses are getting to me. why are there so many obstacles, conditions and road blocks separating me and my desires. it’s a bad sign when i am slowly beginning to believe me and my dreams were not meant to be

day 720 – day after wwtd

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i had so much fun yesterday i almost forgot about walk with the dragon that also happened. i was not convinced two hours of rehearsal the morning of will do any good, especially in the blazing heat where i wasn’t the only one who thought we would get a heat stroke. i have to keep an eye out for concussion symptoms after being back hook kicked in the jaw during the demo. perhaps taking this week off any strenuous activities which is also a good opportunity to rest up my banged up body is the right thing to do

day 702 – bang

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woke up this morning feeling the ill effect of yesterday, as if i had fought a month long battle. the combination of being out late and room temperature being too hot probably has much to do with not getting enough sleep and throbbing headache. i found mulitple of bruised areas on my legs but had neglected what had hit me. apparently i have an even bigger one on my butt but that’s not appropriate to go public

resolution series: [twentyeight] pity

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everyone has their own problems to deal with, some less complex than others. there’s no secret that i have been plagued with endless injuries throughout my life. i have given up on trying to hide that, because i have learned that patchwork only makes it go away on the superficial level. unfortunately that’s just temporary fix and will keep piling on to account for greater problems. i simply cannot live without the sports and activities which i play, for it is the passion of my life. it won’t be forever, but it is my choice to continue playing and practicing them for as long as i can manage. i do intend on doing everything i can within my powers to do my rehab and maintenance work. my main focus is on getting better and stronger every single day; always be a better version of myself. don’t question my will to strive for what i want just because you have it easier. don’t question my passion to always stay hungry and carry on even when nothing goes my way. don’t question how big my heart is when you don’t know how much pain i have endured. don’t question my toughness if you don’t know what i experienced because very few people have a clue how much work, time, energy and commitment i put into making all this possible. standing on my own two feet was never a given to me, but i learn to be grateful for all the times i can. sometimes i sit alone thinking to myself i don’t deserve to be dealing with all these mishaps and i certainly don’t deserve your bashing or judgement. i need not your pity nor your approval for what i have to go through as i result of what i do. i was given this life and these obstacles because i could handle it. i appreciate those who’s helped me out along the way, it’s meant the world to me. if you have nothing good to say, don’t speak

resolution series: [ten] fitspo

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for kids, bumps and bruises, sprains and breaks heal quickly. but once the teens passes you by, you realize these problems persist longer than what you are used to. you can no longer be as carefree when attempting something because that innocence starts to leave your mind and childhood is inevitably leaving your body. that’s for normal people, but it’s an entirely different story for me. i started getting injured at a very early age and because sports is my passion, it makes it my weakness. my personality and lack of patience doesn’t allow me to rest long enough before going back out and playing again. without letting it heal properly like it should, i push it far too hard much too soon. i have been fortunate i have had an awesome physio overlooking me for over the past dozen years cause without him, i either will not be walking today, or wouldn’t be involved in any of the sports. because of the team that supports me in the back end, i can continue to do the things i love. when i was younger, i never fully understood why they were forcing me to do all these training and boring rehab exercises, but i slowly come to realize what they put me through is only for my own good. ever since then, i told myself i would make that change by listening to them and letting them push me as hard as they see fit. it gives me the satisfication to look back at when i first started and notice how much better and stronger i have gotten over the years and the work and effort i pitched in are finally starting to pay off. the deal is simple, i do my maintenance work and take care of my body the right way, then i get to go out and do my thing. i need to continually get stronger in order to get better at what i do and be the best that i can be. taking care of my body is definitely top priority in the long run. and when i stray away from that, my wallpaper and backgrounds act as a reminder to always shut up and train