day 1502 – autopilot 

no more autopilot moving forward because i’ve had enough of dormancy. some ballsy bold moves were required to make this happen; laying down a few protocols and making a few adjustments. i don’t like the way things are going and it’s about time i raise the bar for myself. i’m still struggling with pain in too many parts of my body but i’m taking painkillers everyday just so it gives me a chance to step it up. the harder it hurts, the more frustrated i get so the more i push. maybe that’s why its having snowballing effect 

day 1434 – laying low

the work hours crept by so slowly but at least i was trying to work. at times i still felt dizzy with headache and wished that it wasn’t only wednesday. multiple body parts are wrecked and needs more rest than i will ever give it. surprisingly able to pry myself away from the gym and even decided against dodgeball. instead i spent the evening doing some overdue tedious calculations, paperwork and catchup

day 1433 – atrophy 

woke up at the sound of my alarm clock thinking i could go to work but broken is what i am. unable to fall asleep with bad neck and shoulder pain. the resultant of slamming the brakes left me with a whiplash and nothing but pain and numbness on my right side. the range was nowhere near good after treatment, but at least i could lift my arm above my head. lots of ibuprofen until the pain of clunky movements and clicking of joints dissipates

day 1290 – sums it up 

this pretty much sums up how i’m feeling about myself and my life lately. i can’t seem to get my stuff together and time after after i disappoint myself. got to the lowest point in a quite some time and i am in disbelief when i found out. i definitely feel undeserving of some basic privileges. the long weekend comes timely because i can take this time to regroup and find something new. i better get it together in a hurry or else it might turn out to be self harming

day 1092 – in isolation

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i intentionally trapped myself in my own world today. i didn’t leave the house, didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to think, didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to do anything. i feel more so stressed and hopeless; i have nothing to prove. it all works to my advantage since my ankle couldn’t move anyways. some disturbing thoughts floated around my mind today, but they were dismissed before it got too far. nothing was done as if today never happened

solo series [day twelve]

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woke up without a plan but turns out to be fairly eventful. with a transit day pass, we had the luxury of taking multiple lines at any point throughout the day. from there on, we covered a few more attractions including osaka castle, science centre, aquarium, and largest ferris wheel in asia. we inadvertently passed by a judo dojo and caught some kids in action. i wasn’t too keen on hitting up any more department stores, but my mother wasn’t finished shopping. i am done shopping, done walking and done spending

i can’t seem to buy sleep on this trip; my body clock wakes me up at 4am each day. that’s not usual because i can typically fall asleep anywhere. i guess i’ll make it up on the plane or when i get back

tomorrow i will be in transit again, this time a nine and a half hour direct flight back to vancouver. shortly after arriving in yvr airport, mo and i will be reunited. the countdown has now changed to hours instead of days. we couldn’t be happier that the countdown is in its final hours

this wraps up my entire asia summer trip with family. it’s been fun and adventurous, but at the same time draining in far too many ways. my ankles and knees have taken a beating from averaging 20000 steps a day. my body tells me it’s about time to head back to vancity because that’s where my heart is. it hasn’t exactly been a restful vacation, but i needed some time away from my regular routine. i am definitely ready to go home to make some important life decisions, get back on my grind and of course spend lots of time with mo

day 980 – lift together

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after a full day of work, we’re together in our happy place putting in some real work. the span of grueling training period can be described as my body beaten and smashed into pieces. i told myself i’ll be lazy and restriction-free this week before dialing in once again. being me, slowly down gyming just doesn’t happen…so onward with my second gym session in as many days since returning. my body is majorly exhausted and feeling the effects of the layoff, but getting back into the the thick of lifting is what makes it happy. those who train together stays together