felt like giving myself one day break off my normal hardboiled eggs this monday morning. i’ve always wondered how these starbucks egg whites taste like so this was my chance. it’s tastefully cheesy and also way too many calories than i should have. that satisfied my curiosity but i will go back to my two hardboiled eggs next morning. i also had a mango dragonfruit to go along with it
making my skippy breakfast at the office on bc monday. the office was quiet for optional statutory swap day but i opted to work. it’s actually nice since i’d have time to myself without interruptions from meetings, phone calls and emails. perfect time to knock off my timesheet and the many undone items on my overloaded plate. my work priority list always get shuffle because everything we that comes in are always tabbed as important and urgent
one of the leads is unfortunately leaving us for another opportunity. the design team went out for a farewell breakfast at cora’s before work. i had so much work to do in order to prepare for my lunch and learn presentation. i hadn’t got a chance to drink, eat, go to the washroom, check emails or talk to anyone. i was nervous leading up the presentation for i was about to stand in front of half the company, some of which are my bosses, to share my team’s knowledge. after a successful presentation, lunch and two more meetings, i finally sat down at my desk to eighteen unread emails. it’s been a whirlwind kind of day, but there’s many good things to take away from it
the weight accumulated in the past two months has caught up to me. on the exterior i act invincible, but i can only fool others and not myself. the more i tried to brainwash myself, the deeper i fall. at times i thought i didn’t want to fight anymore and wanted to give in. i fear that i’m nearing the brink of losing it – losing the patience to battle. didn’t have an appetite for any breakfast or lunch. i tried to bury myself with work to occupy every part of me
sleeping has been an issue the last couple days. falling asleep has become increasingly difficult; waking up feeling like i never slept last night. i lay in bed seeing the clock strike 2am, then 3am and realizing my alarm is set to ring in four hours. it’s never a good sign when i get agitated easily and don’t feel up to doing anything productive. these days when i am indifferent about everything gives me a terrible and empty feeling inside. could it be the stress and unease as the competition date gets closer??
i wouldn’t say i’m nearly rested for a day like this, but the grub might make me think i am. had my usual and ready to take on a full saturday that started with errands and seven hours of back to back taekwondo. nonstop until 8pm where i can remember to breathe and think. i was feeling pretty cranky which also lead to some bad and regretful decisions. my knee hurts, but i’ll be back for more teaching and training tomorrow
back in town from a self satisfying trip down portland. first off, post competition breakfast carb loading with my man. competition prep period had its millions of sacrifices and restrictions which made some days painstakingly hard to get through. i haven’t eaten so much in a meal in so long, i forget how bread and potatoes amongst many other things taste like. i’ll give myself a couple days off to indulge in things i couldn’t have had during that phase, but won’t be long before i have to live with those restrictions again in pursuit of my next big event