day 2455 – barbie’s birthday

we celebrated earlier over the weekend, but as with all other times, we always try to have the cake on the day of. we took a bunch of photos and enjoyed this lovely mango mousse cake. i hardly show my appreciation for what he does for me and the family. as we all grow older, i understand i must try harder to show how much i appreciate the distance he goes to do what’s best of us. i’ll definitely try harder to be the better daughter he’s always wanted. i want nothing but a healthy and happy amongst my family. hope that this year will be the best year yet

2019 year at a glance

the recap of the past 365 days could easily be all negative, but instead of going down the rabbit hole of saying everything that went wrong, i also want to recap on all the things that went right. sure, my ankle injury cost me nine months of the year to diagnosis, but it didn’t stop me from carrying out the things i can still do. weightlifting was a big plus this year for i joined apex and dove back into olympic lifting. i got pretty good progress despite the many physical road blocks; a seventeen kilo improvement and making the yellow plates for a personal best. in the mere two months i was introduced to clean and jerk techniques, i’m happy to be just shy of the blue plates. tricking has caused me the most grief. there were so many flips and tricks i wanted to land, but couldn’t mostly because my injuries didn’t allow me to do things i should be able to. i’ll have to accept the fact there’ll be some specific moves i’ll never be able to do again, forever. i had a serious debate inside telling me to quit because everyone has given up on me, even me. at one point i had a deadline in mind to land one of the three moves i’ve been working on. low and behold, i did not land one, but i’m urged to give it a little more time because i’m really close. taekwondo became really stressful having to train a new set of teaching staff. i never once thought i’d test for my fourth degree, especially not with the ankle i was on. sports aside, i also traveled to europe, met some new people, got rid of toxic ones, changed departments and tried new things. i had some very low moments throughout this year where i really wanted to give up, but i kept my head up as hard as it was. i told myself because i never have up, 2020 will be the year for me where everything will fall into place and it’s my year to shine

day 2154 – self journal

finalizing my self journal and ready to start this weekend. i hashed out my three top goals and carefully thought out the progression actions to reach them. for the next thirteen weeks, i’ll have to be extra diligent with my game plan and disciplined with my focus. it won’t be easy and it’s not meant to be, but i’m sure it’ll be worth it once it’s all said and done. this is just scratching the surface of rebuilding my empire. i have yet to decide on a reward for when i survive and achieve my goals

day 1827 – quick reminder

thank you for dropping this quote off on my desk because it saved me from going down a rabbit hole. i have always been a firm believer that discipline is what got me farther than i would have imagined and this time is no different. coincidentally it’s the turn of a calendar month which is the perfect time to pick myself up and try to turn things around. i’m set on making august a good month and get back to where i need to be – my top form

reflecting reality

highschool really did feel like just yesterday. just like majority of highschoolers, i graduated and went onto university thinking i had it planned for the rest of my life. truth is, that thought couldn’t have been any more incorrect and far from reality. i went on to graduate just like how my parents had mapped it out, with an honours degree in environmental design. after a bachelor, i was suppose to do my masters of architecture and become a fully licensed architect. that never happened because acceptance rate was one in ten. i took a brief break but have been working since then. my point is, life is far from how i had imagined it straight out of highschool. i’ve chosen a less traveled career path unlike the stereotypical asian jobs. i’ve believed that my friends circle will remain unchanged. i’ve been misled that i’d meet someone who would treat me like a destination. i’ve learned that growing up requires unlearning the learned. it’s been a struggle as i continue to walk down this path establishing myself as a professional and finding where i truly belong. the start of the year has been really good to me; working my butt off has earned me respect within my peers. i’ve climbed the work ladder real quick liked my manager forewarned, and as a result have been delegated a lot more responsibilities. nothing was given to me; i had to step up and grasp all the windows of opportunities. because of the obstacles and challenges i overcame, i have become the strong woman i am today. i’m not where i want to be yet, but with my grit drive and determination, i’m have full confidence i will make my dreams a reality. i’m on a mission to finding myself and finding my strong. this is where it all starts and where everything will come together for me 

shaping 2018

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2017 was challenging that staggered between many emotions, some happy, some successful, some difficult, some burdensome and some heartbreaking moments. i was struck by my most depressing moments that resulted in bottling up emotions where self destruction happened. underneath the outer shell, was three hundred and sixty five days of constant battle that left many unseen scars. after this three hundred sixty five day battle, i came to realize i had ample growth: grew stronger, became braver, gained experience and expanded my knowledge. the struggles gave me a different perspective in life, the achievements gave me hope to to continue to climb. life is a journey defined by how well one copes after being knocked down. looking forward into the next twelve months, i’ll regroup and pull myself together to find my strong. i’m a fighter and won’t stop short of reaching my goal. as long as i stay strong, keep grinding and never settle for less than my full potential. life is about betterment and i’m committed to being the strongest version of myself

the latter part of 2017 wasn’t the best of days and was a true test of patience. the long drought, the fluctuating health, the seesawing emotions were all big obstacles, but i made sure all loose ends were closed. waving 2017 goodbye knowing 2018 has much more for me in store

  • get back healthy and stay as injury-free as possible
  • consistent training and eating with proper sleep
  • step up my game and take it to the next level
  • setting my priorities and boundaries
  • love myself for who i am, love my family, love my friends
  • stay focused towards advancement
  • attain more designations
  • save up for the numbers game
  • explore and travel the world
  • devote more time on what sets my heart on fire
  • step out of my comfort zone and expand my horizon
  • acknowledge being a workaholic but appreciate the little things

i’m ready to start 2018 off strong and be the stubborn goal digger that i am. just remember the best has yet to come

day 1561 – bandwidth 

i can’t control that some people are toxic and can’t mind their own business. no matter how i take care of my tasks, there’s always going to be somebody ready to stir the pot. my bandwidth is full with projects stacked on projects, it has no capacity to deal with bullshit. i had a long talk with manager because he obviously saw the frustration in my eyes. he is coaching me through the management side of things and mentioned that if i wasn’t an important member, they wouldn’t even bother picking on me. i’m going to continue to keep a good strong head on my shoulder and work on getting it better than ever no matter what the situation is. if people misunderstand and make ignorant assumptions, so be it