stay the course

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it’s been an atrocious week for me. ever since dodgeball playoffs ended last saturday, my world has turned upside down. a visit to emergency room on sunday morning didn’t give me the slightest idea of my finger injury status. i haven’t got a clue what was going on, what my path looks like, or what i should do. my biggest fear is the severity will keep me from training for what quite possibly is my one and only chance. i was really worried because i am already feeling pressed for time because there isn’t an abundant of time remaining and there’s a lot of training and learning needed to be done. this competition is one that i have been really looking forward to, so i would be more than disappointed if i cannot compete. but at the same time, knowing i will not risk entering the competition if i know i am not prepared to give myself the best chance possible. i was beyond stressed out because i couldn’t even tell my loved ones the truth of what happened and what was going on in my head. i was forced to really downplay the whole situation and acted like nothing is wrong when truth is everything was clearly not right. i spent the next four days really battling myself and everything else, and at some point it got so low i felt like i was a wreck. thankfully i am surrounded by people willing and ready to help. i knew i couldn’t continue to let everything get out of hand; i needed to pick myself off the ground and regroup because no matter what tomorrow holds, i needed to fix my finger. an acupuncture treatment was a good start to reduce the swelling and increase the mobility. a date to see my physio really put me at ease cause i trust him more than many, so when he says he’s almost certain there’s no fracture, i believe him. slowly but surely, it’s making progress and it’s looking a lot like my hopes for competition is still alive

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day 792 – unhappy throat

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i know there’s a recommended limit within a time span that says you shouldn’t have more than four in an hour, but i was a little desperate to make my throat less grungy. consuming this many just in the morning alone and not having much improvement probably means that it’s not working very well. need to find an alternative source that will do my throat justice, but in before then, i will be coughing all the time before something helpful comes along and cures me

day 498 – catching up to me

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when was the last time i had a chance to sit down in front of my computer and do nothing?? or that i wasn’t out running around doing stuff and taking care of business?? i don’t ever recalling a particular night like that for the past three months. i am running out of gas, and fatigue is really catching up to me. glad to see that a few things will be off my plate very soon so i may get some much needed personal time and space

day 483 – purple team

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it’s game day for smd, but i am listed as game time decision. the past 48 hours has been very unproductive while i have been trapped at home battling a nasty cold. the amount of sleep i got during this span out numbers the amount i get on a normal week. i guess it’s a way for my body to tell me it’s exhausted and well overworked. still feeling crappy from the cold, not sure if i am in condition to be useful on the court

day 329 – long days

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where has the time gone and why is it going so fast?? so busy these days there’s not enough time in a day to eat or sleep and it feels like i barely see my family anymore. my body and soul is so weary and can’t go on with this schedule for much longer. when will this end so i can have my break