day 2174 – squinty park

a lifting session at apex before a softball double header. despite my back and neck not feeling normal, i still felt strong on front squats and lighter muscle snatches. not a fan of squint lake park because there’s so many mosquitoes around. even though i had bug spray on, i still got bit in the leg. hopefully i get to the bottom of this back and neck issue that’s causing so much discomfort becuase i’d hate to go through another week with so much unexplained back pain

day 1786 – thoracolumbar

not how i had planned out my thursday. i had to leave work early, miss bootcamp and skip softball to visit my chiropractor. only then had i found out i injured my thoracolumbar junction. i’m in so much pain i couldn’t rotate, bend or reach. i wanted to continue with my sports, but there was really no range for that. of course, i tried to tape my own back and needed to prove it can be done. i struggled behind the mirror for over an hour before putting it with proper tension. only then i realized the jammed part of the vertebrae had a softball sized bruise

day 1454 – lonely corner

the cage may be full, but the squat rack on the other side of the gym wasn’t. besides being in the stuffy side, it’s not so bad here. in fact, i kind of like being alone in this lonely corner where i can be me. i must admit i felt the heaviness after enduring the past couple days. my back and hip is feeling funky; must have been the jolt from yesterday’s game. what’s on my glute doesn’t seem like it’s just a normal bruise. had to cut workout short before i do some extra damage to myself. it was nice to walk the park with good old buddy just to catch up and unload

day 1380 – the mopesĀ 

this is the time when i don’t want to have feelings because i only feel pain. it’s atypical for me to complain about pain and let the pain affect my life, but this is not normal when i can’t even move my head to look down or rotate my torso to get up. not quite sure what the hell is going on with my body besides life being hell right now. it’s frustrating me so much if affects the entirety of my life at the moment

day 1379 – icbc rehab

the bad just got worse and now i’m put on a long chiro rehab program through icbc. the quality of life is just not there at the moment and i really want to give up. there’s no comfortable position between sitting, standing and laying down; basic mobility is compromised to the point where the pain keeps me from sleeping. it’s been a horrid week sleep deprived, not being able to go to gym, not playing sports like normal, not able to be myself. it’s asking for too much from me when i have reduce some of my physical activities and even hold off in some cases. i try not appear in pain but even staying strong has its limits and i’ve reached it. i don’t know if restricting all my sports is easier or death

day 1378 – recoil

found my blue jersey just in time for spring season opener tonight. it was a fun game, getting our first win of the season helps. my ribcage feels so aggravated i had to pop more tylenols. it’s not a good sign when even lying down hurts. the constant recoil is a concern because it’s never been so unstable before. it’s calling for another visit to the chiropractor office this week. i’m starting to think the whiplash from the car accident jolted something out of place without me knowing it. i’m starting go feel like

30 share it [ten]

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back at home with a hot shower and just chilling with the need to do some reflection. thanks to chiropractor on site for putting my two ribs back into place so i can play my games today. i wasn’t hallucinating nor exaggerating when i complained my back and neck was out but of course i can only say so much before i realize it’s pointless. i’ve decided on a few things so i don’t get unnecessarily hurt