day 1882 – blurried

my goal got a little blurried last two days so needed a reminder for myself. i’m not happy with how i went off track the last two days. all i know is it’s time to pull myself back into it. i need to find ways to hold myself accountable for the things i set out to do. recognizing i faltered and knowing i’m the only one who can fix the problem and move onwards to get it right again

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day 1332 – new pumps

the major delay is over as i decided it’s finally time to pull out the new pumps. they felt amazing from the get go and required no breaking in. doing the same program but only everything seemed so much harder after taking a whole month break. it was a battle, but the satisfaction of grinding through the workout and getting my squats done overpowers. i must say i missed those lifts and glad to be cleaning again. hopefully the pumps will spark my comeback and get me back on track 

day 1313 – border crossing 

it’s been a good but tiring oregon trip with long drives to and from portland. on my way home after many hours spent in the car, long day of competition and irregular and malnutritioned meals. i’m content with the results and my personal performance and hope that this will get myself back on track. this might be what i needed to reinstate my mind and body to get the grind going again. now that the competition is behind me, i must gear down and focus because march will be a crazy month

out from stumbles

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lately i have been stuck in a rut fighting myself, losing my sense of direction and not knowing what i want to do with my life. i would carry on and beat myself up, then question whether my existence is meaningless. that’s not to say i have figured everything out, but i have decided to stop beating myself up and believing i am worthless. point is, i need to correct those behaviours because it would only hurt myself and hurting myself is hurting the loved ones around me; i hate to see others get hurt. i do feel apologetic for being silent and quiet about my problems, perhaps i am not quite good at sharing my troubled thoughts. i don’t mean to make you guys worry. it won’t change overnight, but i’ll try harder to be more open and vocal about what goes on inside my head. it’s time to realize i am not suppose to settle to be an average person, just like the millions of other human beings on earth. it’s time to step up my game and live up to expectations and chase my own dreams. doing so is nerve wrecking, but that’s the only way to grow as a person and expand on what i have already accomplished. i know that whichever path i choose to take, i will have the support of those around me. i want the supporters in my life to know that i was born for a reason

day 1108 – the feels

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had one tough workout session but feeling darn good about everything i accomplished, even though i may or may not have my legs tomorrow. it had everything from working on squats, to trying something new, to improving my snatches. the ecstatic feeling that i once again matched my personal record box jump height, with more certainty than before. spending quality time and finishing off the friday night chilling with mo, doing whatever it may be makes my day complete

day 1093 – dial back

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a day of climbing out of the dark and back into the light. the past forty eight hours had a lot more downs than ups, but i will spend much of the next hours, days, weeks and years making it infinitely better. i am strong enough to withstand the circumstances thrown at me. it is time to repair myself and look for new directions. i can always bank of having companions by my side to talk it over

day 1036 – familiar territory

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they say a bad day can be made better by going to the gym – i agree. this is one of my happy place; one that i can feel safe like my home. it’s a great feeling to be back at the nash i was so used to before i went on a galore of travelling. i’ll be back often and be a regular again. i am ready to break a sweat for a night session and beat out all the troubles at hand. definitely starting the month of june off with a good session, a month of many good things to look forward to and work hard for