fulfilment

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heaving a ten tonne rock off my shoulders is an appropriate representation as i haven’t felt so relieved in far too long. it may not mean anything to others, but to me, no words can describe how much receiving that call means to me. for the past year, i struggled to find myself, to accept myself and to be myself. i would hate myself for never being good enough at everything and for anything, often had internal war within. i went though down times that caused eating problems which consequently wrecked my body in too many ways. i bottled up all my problems and feelings, and avoided sensitive topics at all costs. it got to the point where i lost interest in a lot of things and wanted to confine myself in my own space so i didn’t have to talk. at last i opened up to a selected few; i need not to mention any names as you know who you are. i’m thankful that while i was going through my wildest and worst times, you came to the rescue and stood by me. thank you for being patient with me when i was going through some of the roughest times. for piecing me together and keeping me together when i was self destructing. for not rushing me to become something i wasn’t ready to become. for supporting me to find what i truly wanted. for accepting me with open arms and caressing me when i needed you most. it’s you that kept me afloat and a good reason why i’m still alive and striving to this day. through this process i’ve learned an abundance of things –  it’s okay to have weak moments but i’ve learned to be strong. many times i thought i had turned the corner, only to stumbled back in. today i can safely and assertively say i have found my way out of this gigantic hole, and i will only move forward in the direction i’ve always wanted to go but didn’t dare to go. i have a very good reason to smile as i’m leaving everything behind and starting my new episode fresh. i have found myself and i’ll be chasing whatever fulfills my heart

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day 984 – water walks

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walking along the water just after sunset to wind down a great weekend full of activities. looking out into the water into the distant buildings and city lights gives us time to appreciate each other and recognize all that we have in our lives. never underestimate how a little time and the little things could add up to make a huge difference. cherish all the moments because time passes us by so much quicker than we expect it. so don’t let the chances slip away; express your thoughts, feelings with the deepest sincerity

day 829 – gift of goodness

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today i received a gift of goodness in a warm red cup. at first i was a little puzzled cause i didn’t know why. afterwards she told me she really appreciates all the help and wanted to thank me for the work i did. what i did was no big deal because i only do what i can whenever i can. it was a very nice gesture that filled my heart and made my day. this kind of action is a reminder to never overlook the act of kindness and any kind of acknowledgement. it’s the little things that adds up to mean a lot. i, for one, felt it today

day 800 – birthday mom

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celebrating one of the many special days of the year, but the person i celebrate it for and with doesn’t get any more important. happy birthday to my dearest mom, who works tirelessly to make each and every one of my day as smooth as it could be. a lot of times i overlook the little expressions and actions that could go a long way to making you realize how much you mean to me. do know that i appreciate every little thing you do for me and every moment spent together is quality time i cherish. and sometimes i just fail to express how i love you so. here’s to another great year ahead and many more to come. perfect way to make it my blog’s 800th day post. i have had a lot of pleasure writing all my posts and revisiting my posts to see where i have been and where i have come

day 747 – successes of an instructor

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today i received a thank you note from a student i have been teaching and mentoring for the last several years. the note had high praise and reinforces why i have been and still continue to teach to this day. it truly defines why i make the sacrifices to teach because nothing warms my heart than to see my students perform and meet their goals. although she never became a blackbelt, there was a lot that she did right, more than what the black belt itself may have exemplified. i am truly appreciative of all the time and effort she put into assisting junior students and practicing for herself, and wish her the best of luck in her studies

resolution series: [twentyeight] pity

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everyone has their own problems to deal with, some less complex than others. there’s no secret that i have been plagued with endless injuries throughout my life. i have given up on trying to hide that, because i have learned that patchwork only makes it go away on the superficial level. unfortunately that’s just temporary fix and will keep piling on to account for greater problems. i simply cannot live without the sports and activities which i play, for it is the passion of my life. it won’t be forever, but it is my choice to continue playing and practicing them for as long as i can manage. i do intend on doing everything i can within my powers to do my rehab and maintenance work. my main focus is on getting better and stronger every single day; always be a better version of myself. don’t question my will to strive for what i want just because you have it easier. don’t question my passion to always stay hungry and carry on even when nothing goes my way. don’t question how big my heart is when you don’t know how much pain i have endured. don’t question my toughness if you don’t know what i experienced because very few people have a clue how much work, time, energy and commitment i put into making all this possible. standing on my own two feet was never a given to me, but i learn to be grateful for all the times i can. sometimes i sit alone thinking to myself i don’t deserve to be dealing with all these mishaps and i certainly don’t deserve your bashing or judgement. i need not your pity nor your approval for what i have to go through as i result of what i do. i was given this life and these obstacles because i could handle it. i appreciate those who’s helped me out along the way, it’s meant the world to me. if you have nothing good to say, don’t speak

resolution series: [eight] weed out people

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in the path that i have traveled along, i have met a lot of people each with their own characteristics and personality. as i cross path with more and more people going towards different destinations, i have recognize those who are true friends. there are those who i enjoy hanging out with, those who share the same interest and goals, and those who i feel comfortable opening up to. you guys fill my life and make me a happier person. together we go through ups and downs; we laugh together and cry together. we share a lot of good times and good memories that i will take with me and i hope you cherish it as much as i do. the older i grow, i find it more crucial to learn to surround myself with positive people who can make it a better and more complete person. negative people have no place in my life because they only distraction towards what i want to achieve. i have been working hard to eliminate all those haters out there that doesn’t support my choices nor approve of my success. i am grateful for all the people who have stuck around in my life and made me feel accepted and wonderful even when not in my most optimal condition. i am sad for those friends i cherish but inevitably have to temporarily separate in order to chase our own destiny. i understand life is a long journey full of dreams and possiblities so no matter how many miles and oceans we are separated by, i believe that we will one day be destined to cross path again