day 2161 – smoked salmon pinwheel

the best thing about coming home late is still having homemade food by my mom. these smoked salmon tortilla wrapped pinwheels taste is unmatched because it’s made with so much care. no matter what time of the day, my mom will gladly prepare food for me and make sure i don’t starve. i played up a big appetite after returning home from my sports activities and ate all of that

day 1671 – dimsuming


i don’t recall the last time i ate dimsum, but it’s  safe to say i can now eat them guilt free. my love for malaysian cake, ha gao and rice rolls never changed. switching up the diet has its perks for reasons i can enjoy food with variety. since the switch, my appetite has improved significantly, or maybe it’s just a result of improvement in my overall state of mind. either way, the trend is heading in the right place in multiple aspects of my life 

day 1546 – lost craves

i’m dropping weight since i’ve gone inactive, not a bad thing as it saves me the hassle of cutting so maybe i won’t always be called fat. i’m looking to drop some more while i have a legit reason to restrain myself the calories. knowing that, i consciously haven’t had much of an appetite the past few weeks. muscles mass is taking a hit without the work i do at the gym. my body is in a confused stage and is in worse condition than normal cause it’s not used to not being used. my body just isn’t use to not taking a beating and without it, i still manage to misalign things

day 1301 – self conscious 

img_20200204_1644373027913593232886851.jpgnot moving much and not being physically active has made me become self conscious and i’ve let it take over with my decision making. it’s only fair that if i can’t do what i want, it won’t get what it wants either. can’t help but feel undeserving so i skipped a meal or two and waited out my appetite. as long as i occupy myself, everything becomes psychological needs

day 1129 – salt and pepper

img_20200124_1517195125112703379053205.jpgi was pretty bored and lazy today even though i had a ton of things waiting for me to do. the family commented on how rare it was to have me eat out with the rest of them. it’s been a long time since i hardly recall when and where was the last. it was such a long dinner, my everything was so stiff by the time we took the bill. got home and did some painful rolling so i can still move for team practice tomorrow. i’ll also get to my long to do list tomorrow

day 1106 – hungriness

img_20200204_1531562313272003360520510.jpgfor some odd reason i was hungrier than usual. even after a snack, my stomach was still hungry so i ate some tofu while waiting for my mom to cook dinner. dinner was finally ready and i am happy it had some of my favourite food like baked salmon and fresh corn on a cob. having an appetite again is a good sign; maybe it’s a sign that my lingering cold is really over; or maybe it’s a sign i am healthy again

day 881 – eating right

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holiday seasons are terrible when it comes to indulgences. there’s just so much food everywhere i go, as if everyone is ready for bulking season. i am so sick of seeing food that sometimes i feel hungry but have no appetite. getting my greens today and sticking to my plan because i want no part in holiday food anymore. i know i made the right decision cause i felt so much more refreshed not having consumed dense food

day 658 – supress cravings

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it is so difficult to suppress random food cravings especially so when i am stressed out. and then it’s that moment when i finally manage to suppress my sushi craving, but then end up getting something else even more unhealthy instead. it probably would have been a wiser choice if i went to bed earlier instead of going out to grab some fast food at some ungodly hour

day 398 – tonight’s dinner

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spinach garden salad with sundried tomato salad dressing, garlic alaskan salmon on french bread and boiled perogies for dinner. i am open to trying new dinner ideas, for once changing up and staying away from the typical chinese dinner of rice and chopsticks. the idea of organic vegetable had me thinking it’s a healthy kind of meal. i am a picky eater, there’s a lot of greens i do not eat but i can settle with lettuce romaine

day 100 – korean bbq

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after having a single bowl of congee in 34 hours because of an upset stomach, here’s the all you can eat late night korean bbq to make up for the lack of appetite and food. the abundance of food felt like i suddenly went from third world country to first world country. i am sure its not the brightest idea in the world, but i will just go with the flow and see how much my body wants to absorb. so much meat…i haven’t had all you can eat for so long