day 2383 – orthopedic clinic

for the first time in my life, and of my fifteen years of physio life, i’m seeking assistance from a different clinic. the physio i’ve grown up with doesn’t seem to have a solution or rehab program for my ankle. i left the first consultation with mixed feelings. it didn’t sound promising when the physio first read through my report. he said it was very rare that someone could rupture the most important stabilizing ligament like this. after seeing me go through a series of exercises, he said i look very much functional; so there’s hope i’d return to good capacity to pursue my competition dreams. i’ll trust what he has in store for me when get me back in the game

day 2382 – booster juicing

been craving booster juice for a while so took the splurge and tried the wildberry basil. it was one of the most healthy drink on the menu and best used for an after hockey refreshment. i guess it could be used as a consolation for not having played one of my better games. i also got a little roughed up with some marks on my forearm and a swelled up bad ankle

day 2362 – tricks and kicks

i’ve, for the longest time, avoided training kicks at tricking because i’m really scared to find out i won’t be able to kick ever again. ever since i found out the real truth about my ankle, i’ve been really down just thinking how much that will affect all the things i love to do. i’ve since learnt that i will still be able to train certain things back if i rehab it properly. i want to make it a priority to rehab properly and train kicks because it’s quite unacceptable if i don’t have some kicks. i started with cheat 720 and backside 900 tonight and i’ll keep drilling it until i get them

day 2359 – squirtle defense

mostly been a winger for squirtle all season, but getting my time at defense tonight. i much enjoy that our team can be in the same locker room as opposed to separating it be gender. we lost by a margin, but i still had fun. honestly my ankle is struggling when in that skate. the ganglion on the medial side is only getting worse and really bothers me especially in the second half of the game. i’m not sure what i need to do and how to address this issue. what will it take to continue playing this sport?

2019 year at a glance

the recap of the past 365 days could easily be all negative, but instead of going down the rabbit hole of saying everything that went wrong, i also want to recap on all the things that went right. sure, my ankle injury cost me nine months of the year to diagnosis, but it didn’t stop me from carrying out the things i can still do. weightlifting was a big plus this year for i joined apex and dove back into olympic lifting. i got pretty good progress despite the many physical road blocks; a seventeen kilo improvement and making the yellow plates for a personal best. in the mere two months i was introduced to clean and jerk techniques, i’m happy to be just shy of the blue plates. tricking has caused me the most grief. there were so many flips and tricks i wanted to land, but couldn’t mostly because my injuries didn’t allow me to do things i should be able to. i’ll have to accept the fact there’ll be some specific moves i’ll never be able to do again, forever. i had a serious debate inside telling me to quit because everyone has given up on me, even me. at one point i had a deadline in mind to land one of the three moves i’ve been working on. low and behold, i did not land one, but i’m urged to give it a little more time because i’m really close. taekwondo became really stressful having to train a new set of teaching staff. i never once thought i’d test for my fourth degree, especially not with the ankle i was on. sports aside, i also traveled to europe, met some new people, got rid of toxic ones, changed departments and tried new things. i had some very low moments throughout this year where i really wanted to give up, but i kept my head up as hard as it was. i told myself because i never have up, 2020 will be the year for me where everything will fall into place and it’s my year to shine

day 2342 – evo ankle

i went out to apex for my last workout of the decade and did a bunch of snatch work. the good way to end off the year off strong and be well prepared for more in the new year. i delayed this for long, but i finally went out and got the evo ankle stabilizer physio prescribed. i’m not sure when and how i will be using this. i honestly don’t know if there’s anything that can prevent the motions my ankle can’t take, but everything is worth a shot at this point

day 2320 – low life

sleepless on a sunday night does not bode well for monday morning. i needed a coffee first thing when i got into work. i couldn’t help but stay awake thinking and overthinking of all the things i may have to give up. i can’t stop myself from crying thinking my life as an athlete could come to an abrupt end. i hadn’t done all that i wanted to accomplish and i clearly hadn’t expected it to approach so soon. i can’t stand to open up and tell many of my injury status so keeping it to myself was my next best option