day 1386 – on strike

taking things a little personal and realizing i need to do something about it. it bothers me enough to tear up a little. it’s one of those things when i don’t feel deserving and i’m stubborn enough to do it. i prefer not eating and i will feel that way until i can hit the gym again. i’ll get hangry at times, but eating is secondary to being good enough in my own terms – not to mention it conserves time and money. it’s a little easier to get around it when parents are out of town

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day 1366 – lingering effects

slowly getting back to normally but there’s lingering effects both physically and mentally. somehow i am still hesitant and scared to eat regular food, or maybe i’m just worried i’ll get fat again. i’m hollow and empty inside, but i persuade myself i can wait it out. it’s one of those things i’d rather endure than being hurt and be scarred time after time. it affects me more than i’d ever want to talk about it

day 726 – feeling hungry

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sashimi and japanese food are always good go to food and i don’t think i can ever get tired of eating them. today i have the luxury of getting my sushi cravings fixed but i know i cannot afford to spoil myself too often for obvious reasons. of course i ordered my favourite salmon and tuna sashimi, and then my current new favourite, the maple roll. at least i stay away from the fried stuff