day 1630 Рkeepsake gems 

highschool best buddy sent over a surprise with pictures she found while cleaning up her house. i laughed when i saw my artona grad pictures. was highschool really that long ago and have i aged since then? what have i accomplished since and was it what i imagined life would be like? no. i graduated highschool expecting i’d have taken my architecture masters, that i’d be working in my dream job making big bucks, that i’d be living in a mansion i designed, that i’d meet someone who treats me as a destination. most of that is just a fantasy, but what’s real is i’m proud of where i am now and the adversity i had to face to get here

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believe myself

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i told myself time after time that i wouldn’t spill because i shouldn’t let any negativity ruin my holiday mood, and then things happened again which really put me over the top. people never realize how much crap i take from others. i take them in like a sponge, but it never dissipates. i just bury my emotions deep inside so no one can see; hidden so well others forget i have feelings, so well sometimes i forget too. i brush it off like it doesn’t hurt but it does. i just wished people were a little more sensitive with their comments and actions.  my silence just means i chose to hold my thoughts in, but the feeling of disconnect and exclusion still exists. it hurts assumptions were made without understanding how hard i worked. those who haven’t seen me at my worst have no idea what i’ve gone through and what it was like to get here. don’t look down upon me and make presumptions that i’m not good enough. i’ve worked far too hard for anyone to tell me otherwise. i learned that even when i’m belittled, i’ll still believe in myself because i’ve proven i can stand alone. sometimes a little consideration goes a long way because never underestimate the power of the little things that make a big difference

 

sports never stop

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it’s obvious where my passion is at and what i will continue to do no matter how many times i get injured. there’s no substitute in life that gives me as much satisfaction and pleasure so i am going to ride it until the very end. just being able to do them is a gift i never take for granted. it’s all about getting up after every fall and know that i will be okay¬†because i have the greatest team behind me to get me back in the game. others can scrutinize and criticize me for putting myself through all that pain, but that doesn’t change the way i go about it. it is part of that fire that burns from within which makes me fight back and want to become stronger and better. where no one out there can question how much this means to me and how badly competitive sports means to me. rest assured that no matter how many times i face adversity, i am determined to come out stronger than ever. i am an athlete afterall and that competitiveness never dies