day 1887 – envisioning

maybe it’s not a bad idea to take up presale condo shopping as a new hobby. making myself comfortable and envisioning my soon to be new home. i’ve been eyeing multiple developments and wanting to invest in one for quite some time, but i have some more saving to do before i can hold down a unit. definitely made some progress over the last little while, but better sit down and strategize how it can be sped up to make my dream become a reality

30 share it [nineteen]

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gifting is an art and so is taking pictures of gifts. coffee beans for christmas present is pretty darn good. i’m gratified to have made it onto his christmas gift list. it means i did something right and stood out from the rest. it’s my reward for growing into and becoming a stronger person; i’ll keep growing and keep attaining. i’ll be sure to enjoy this dark roast to complement the dark winter days

out from stumbles

img_20200204_2259385445243994943196726.jpglately i have been stuck in a rut fighting myself, losing my sense of direction and not knowing what i want to do with my life. i would carry on and beat myself up, then question whether my existence is meaningless. that’s not to say i have figured everything out, but i have decided to stop beating myself up and believing i am worthless. point is, i need to correct those behaviours because it would only hurt myself and hurting myself is hurting the loved ones around me; i hate to see others get hurt. i do feel apologetic for being silent and quiet about my problems, perhaps i am not quite good at sharing my troubled thoughts. i don’t mean to make you guys worry. it won’t change overnight, but i’ll try harder to be more open and vocal about what goes on inside my head. it’s time to realize i am not suppose to settle to be an average person, just like the millions of other human beings on earth. it’s time to step up my game and live up to expectations and chase my own dreams. doing so is nerve wrecking, but that’s the only way to grow as a person and expand on what i have already accomplished. i know that whichever path i choose to take, i will have the support of those around me. i want the supporters in my life to know that i was born for a reason

day 1107 – yonder

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taking advantage of the sunshine by going on a short hike up burnaby mountain. peeking beyond the trees to catch a glimpse of the undisturbed water and islands out north. i can’t explain all that’s going on inside but getting out into wilderness draws my attention away from life challenges and disturbances. but no matter the situation, trying to not let it get to me. all that’s waiting for me is just beyond the horizon

day 1096 – walk of life

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everybody’s walk of life is a little different, this is my night time walk. i’ll find my way that leads to the path that my heart desires. it’s been a day of a weird long weekend full of unexpected circumstances and sudden turn of events. one that gave me a lot of realizations and held a lot of hard truths. although it was a laid back day, i am still very tired and could use the extra rest. i’ll give my body a break since i am too sore to benefit from exercising

day 916 – resourcefulness

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fiddling with whatever i can get a hold of as the chat continued through the night. sometimes i need distractions to stay involved in a coversation. had an interesting conversation with really self driven and motivated people that’s always looking for ways to make an impact. the conversation made me think about things in a different perspectives and made me wonder if i would thrive with the same drive. what they taught me was you must first and foremost love what you do because there’s no purpose or reason in life without passion

resolution series: [thirteen] independence

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at times like this when my parents are travelling around the world, i realize how much they have to do on a daily basis. even the most basic things like cooking meals, doing laundry, washing dishes, turning off lights, and taking out garbage. they take care of majority of all that, making mine and my brother’s life less stressful. though none of that those duties are difficult, they are very time consuming. the act of preparing, cooking and then washing the dishes is a tedious process and before i know it, an hour as passed by. as i grow older, i come to understand how precious they are and how dependent i have become. this is definitely the time to learn how to be more independent so to relieve my parents of their burden. slowly getting better at it, and good knowing that i won’t starve to death or run out of clean clothes to wear while they are away. going through the learning process of supporting myself physically, emotionally and financially. learning that earning money is hard but saving is even more difficult. understanding that success doesn’t come overnight and everything that contributes to future success requires utmost commitment. at a certain point, i won’t have anyone to lean on but myself. only when i can manage all that can i stand alone. there comes a time when i need to give back because that’s the least i could do in return

resolution series: [seven] family

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you don’t choose your family, you are born with it. never underestimate the power of family, it’s the most important thing in the world you don’t want to live without. it is what makes a house a home, filled with warmth, laughter and unconditional love. my family is the best people i know because they have been the biggest supporter for me through the years. my family is my strength and my weakness. they raised up me to the person i am today, they picked me up when i need it most, they paved the path that i traveled on, they let me stand on their shoulders when the fight gets tough and i would use all my power to defend them whenever possible. through the decades, we have spent time together on important dates and celebrated each of our birthdays and holidays as a family. life got a lot busier once i entered adulthood and took on a lot more challenges. i know they fully understand and support that i want to live my life with tons of commitments, sometimes sacrificing the amount of time spent with them. rest assured that my priorities haven’t changed; i will do what i can to make time for these special people, and have no doubts that whatever time we spend together is quality time. i grew up with these awesome people and i want to grow old together to be there for them when they need me most

resolution series: [two] decisions

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decision making is a skill that humans slowly develop over time, but one may not notice it is not an innate skill. every child starts off with their parents doing the decision making because we are too young to make sensible choices. i have always had my parents make decisions for me no matter how big or small and that carried through to up and including university. i started later than most people and have developed too much reliance on my parents and others which may be the cause of my often indecisiveness. all i ever did was go with the flow and following the the instructions they give. but there comes a time when they have to slowly let go and let me make more of the decisions. sometimes the choices i make will be good and sometimes not so good, but its all a part of growing up and a learning curve that i must make. sure enough my parents will always be in the background giving me logical advice to consider because they’ve been through something i haven’t yet. sometimes it’s as simple as choosing the shoe i want to wear, which may seem harder than it really is. but i am slowly getting the hang of it by taking charge of my choices and paving for the road i want to travel

twenties series: [twelve] childhoodness

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the transition of growing up from stage to stage is not an easy one. being a kid was easy but we wouldn’t even realize it at that time. during the first decade, there’s no need to stress, no need to worry and every day passed by like it was the best day of our lives. went to school, played with friends, had some extracurricular activities and went home happy and carefree. stepping into the second decade was a tougher because we realize there are added responsibilities and the acknowledgement of what stress is. school gets busier, homework increases, extracurricular activities piles on, not to mention drama will occur, relationships becomes unclear and the need to start thinking about career path. entering the third decade of the life, formally known as adulthood, is the toughest yet. school gets tougher, every exam and paper is like a do or die situation, extracurricular activities continues, love life has its ups and downs, and you feel like your career is trapped in fog and there’s no turning back. there are those moments when nothing is going right, everything happens out of the unexpected and everyone seems to be against you and you think long and hard and question whether you made the right decisions five years ago. i now understand why people will occasionally go in the quarter life crisis. i don’t know what is in store for me the rest of this decade and the next ones to come, but i am set to make take the positives out of situations and make it the best possible experience