day 2274 – squat stance

working on the heavier squats after some hiatus. the past several weeks i kind of brushed it off because i either felt my legs were too fatigued or felt down from then injustice of my foot problems. it’s not like me to not feel like squatting or gyming in general, but life right now is just a struggle to stay afloat. no doubt the squats felt heavy, but i pushed through and expect to be sore waking up tomorrow. i’ll have to work extra hard to catch up with the programing

day 2273 – time out chair

millie on the time out chair because she was being a bad dog. she normally annoys me by during hovering over me as i’m eating lunch and just getting way too close to my liking. today she was a little more extra, growling at everything and everyone for no reason. we decided she needed to be isolated on a high chair to teach her a lesson because she can’t jump off by herself

day 2272 – snatch off blocks

first time utilizing the blocks to do my snatches. not the best day of snatches but a decent day of clean and jerks. the high blocks was suppose to focus on a full extension. i adjusted my stance before the split and it seemed to have positive changes. i’m most happy that olympic lifting didn’t further hurt my foot. it was quite a demanding workout even though it didn’t seem like i lifted a whole lot of weight. my arms and quads were extremely taxed by the end of it all

day 2271 – out of reach

i once wrote this list of things i wanted to drill and moves that i want to have. it was something i needed to keep myself accountable while chasing these moves, but none of this is happening and not sure if i’ll ever be able to get back to drilling anything. honest to god, it’s really wearing on me and some days i cry myself to sleep knowing i may never be able to achieve any of these goals. i’m going to put up a fight, knowing so

day 2270 – stay home sunday

stayed home originally thinking i’d be lazy, but turns out to be a work afternoon. i finished the much delayed payrolls for terms of killarney because someone complained about class reserve distribution. the email chain started getting out of hand and in turn made me even more agitated. i checked the spreadsheet and all is good to go until he makes other complaints. at least i got off my plate and onto better things

day 2269 – broken teacher

trying to teach all the classes being on less than one foot combined. my left didn’t work well before and now my right is heavily crippled. capping off the last class of the shift with the poomsae competition team. surprisingly made it through the whole shift without having to demonstrate any kick at full speed or full power. it helps that all classes went smoothly and all except the first class came ready to learn

day 2268 – sky fallen

it feels like the world just crashed on me. i wish my first instinct was incorrect, but i’m pretty certain i’ve just torn my other retinaculum during the battle. it was a bad judgment on my part – i shouldn’t have tried to sync the cartwheel back tuck and should just went for it on my own. now my everything is in jeopardy and i can’t help by think that my hopes and dreams of competing or even tricking in general could all be over. it hurts thinking not even reconstructive surgery can be a solution and all i can do is keep waiting and hope there’s a chance it will heal itself to a usable state. no one truly understands the physical pain i’m going through at the moment, and definitely don’t understand how much this hinders me in all the things i do and love doing. i just know i’m not ready to say goodbye to any of those things