day 1826 – work calls

i went into work and did my lunch and learn presentation. i went not because i wanted to, but cause obligation calls. the way everything has unfolded recently left me feeling sour and i’m about to give up trying to reach for justice. i no longer feel like standing up for what’s fair and will just do whatever is said. the amount of work i manage, the amount of stress from all directions, and the lack of respect i’m receiving just doesn’t add up. the renumeration that was promised doesn’t exist. if things don’t change, then i’m on my way out

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day 1825 – family doctor

this is a rather big deal when i make it an exception and visit my family doctor. after many months of ghosting her, even she was surprised to see me. she asked a bunch of questions, did some tests and wrote two referral notes and off i went. i took a day off work to run around from clinic to clinic; these tests and xrays are so time consuming. hopefully the results turn out negative. it’s a day off away from the office but not really – an influx of emails and a presentation to prepare for kept me busy

day 1824 – current status

icing and heating both my shoulder and elbow while maintaining movement is the story of the day. i really didn’t know what to do and what to think of it because i hadn’t done any tests, scans or rays. i refused to go to emergency even though dozens urged me to do so. i had no mood to do anything knowing sports is off limits right now. so i just stayed at home in the heat and sweated my sorrows away

day 1823 – team barbecue

there’s a few flakes but the team barbecue turnout wasn’t too shabby. there was a lot of drinking involved considering the rest of the guys are playing a game afterwards. i wouldn’t be in on any of the drinking games if i was healthy enough to play. i’m very disappointed i have to sit out, especially when i was ramping up my hot goals streak. the duration is indefinite until i get another assessment. i’m on a short leash so i could be off to the emergency barring any symptoms. i’m praying it’s nothing serious, but i’m also starting to worry more and more

day 1822 – cartwheel

throwing too many cartwheels and attempts of aerials nonstop can lead to severe injuries. i heard some kind of pop as i braced myself with an outstretched arm. i thought it had to be a dislocated shoulder or something had snapped in my elbow. i landed hard but i didn’t want to check what the problem could be because maybe i’m not ready to find out. as stubborn and stupid as i was, i continued practicing but knowing in the back of my mind it could be a major issue that needs attention

day 1821 – vitasoy

i didn’t understand why my body feels soreness like a post deadlift day even though i hadn’t. i guess that on ice collision was pretty hard and gave my backside a hard jolt. i decided taking a day off bootcamp would probably set me up for a more productive friday flip session. instead, my colleagues and i went to seven twenty sweets for a liquid nitrogen run. one way to beat the heat was to try the limited time offer vitasoy and vita malt

day 1820 – hard questions


once in a while some questions come up i either don’t know how to answer, shouldn’t answer or don’t want to answer. noticeable that i’ve pulled myself out of involvements in the world of taekwondo. i no longer teach or attend poomsae trainings, took break from competitions, skip demos, and avoided going to main school. all i do is run my branch school and keep making improvements. now when asked if i’ll resume my commitments and return to the competition floor, it’s really hard to say if i still have it in me and i have the heart to make a comeback