day 1522 – cavity check 

img_20200203_1448266876055128504944795.jpgan extra unpleasant filling cause dentist said he had to use laser to cut some of the gum. that explains why i had four shots and still felt the numbing two hours into teaching. it makes eating difficult and it makes me hungry and not hungry at the same time. at the end of the day, i find myself a bit more disappointed with each passing day. it felt promising at times, but in the end i still haven’t been convinced. i’m still alone second guessing whether i’m only good and wanted when i’m willing to do what’s asked. it feels as though it’s more for the benefits and less of what my needs are. as long as i have this feeling, i will have my guard up and find ways to refuse it no matter deprived or not

day 1521 – myodetox 

img_20200203_1545293774253367570803257.jpgcompensation all over my body from the built up tension; it’s been a stressful stretch from both work and life. traveling pain is going all over me including my head, neck, back, hips, knees and ankles. the sleep quality and quantity has diminished and so work productivity has also been affected. an appointment at myodetox to release some of that and alleviate some of that and get my body functioning as it should

day 1520 – growlers 

i had no handle on what damages could happen today, but i have three appointments lined up. honestly think i make terrible decisions but i really wanted to play dodgeball after sitting out for an extra ten days. it’s taped up to the point where almost no skin on my hand is visible, yet it still hurts to grip the ball, catch the ball, throw the ball. i came out not thrilled expecting more, but at least playing today didn’t make it much worse

day 1519 – gym needs

headache at work got pretty bad again to the point where i didn’t seem useful and should just go home. but i stayed and kept thinking the tylenol will kick in soon enough. i was only looking forward to going to the gym, and stubborn enough even if i were to collapse during. i really wanted to since i haven’t made up for the missed monday and i wasn’t about to do another shuffle nor write off this week

day 1518 – office props

this workstation of mine is filled with recovery props and drugs. my headache erratic and unpredictable; it seems to get better and worse whenever it wants. at it’s worst, my head feels like it’s being compressed and there’s no enough oxygen the flows through. my immune system may already be used to the constant supply of tylenols. i tried really hard to work through it, but there’s a point that i thought i should go home instead of suffering through this at work. i probably shouldn’t have taken on tutor after work and get more rest as needed, but i don’t like canceling last minute

day 1517 – ruined

nothing but disappointment missing my monday workout, missing dodgeball but that’s exactly what happened today. this forces me to rearrange this week’s workout schedule. i haven’t cramped this hard in a long time, but it was more than that which made it worse than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. it was an unrestful night where i laid in bed for hours not being able to fall asleep and when i finally do, i get woken up several times in sweat. even in terrible condition, had no choice but to to go to work because i had stuff to hand over

day 1516 – level b certified 

nine hours of my sunday spent at st john’s to take my recertification course and now i’m back to saving lives. good old timmy’s to help me get through and stay awake through the boring stuff, just like those university days. the test at the end of the course was easy peasy. i have a feeling there’s more to come in order to complete my nccp, but hopefully the next one won’t be nine hours long

day 1515 – vachl debut

my legs hates me for pushing it so hard so often but here i am excited to be playing my first game with new vachl teammates. the bench was short but it was a lot fun and i made some good plays plus shots of goal. the game was fun and the pace is similar to what i’m used to so no big adjustments needed. i’m expecting myself to make great improvements this season and take my game to the next level. next game mental note to self i need to bring hockey socks, replenish hockey bag with tape supply, and find time to sharpen skates. it’s inexcusable i failed to have those necessities done for today

day 1514 – perspiration 

my glutes are in extreme soreness and overall body is tired after a workout and coaching session. i forget how much i have to demonstrate when sifu is there. so sore i was in limbo to go workout or not. in the end i went because the blueberry muffin devoured earlier needed to be justified; won’t let myself eat without having exercised. in transition between my program; the increased urgency is the cause of more sweat

day 1513 – bad hand 

looking back i would say it was a good day, but a costly one. i caught everything that came my way, all except one; the very ball that killed my hand and changed a lot. more than five weeks after, it still affects me greatly and continues to sideline me. i’ve been seeking for someone can help fix it and put it on its recovery road. when will i be able to open a jar of peanut butter pain free