day 1430 –  squat hard 

DSC_1550i was definitely frustrated waking up because i stayed up working on payroll and i woke up with another email of explanations. work in the afternoon dragged on and i longed to get out. i didn’t feel particularly good during my workout today and felt weaker than other days. schedule just haven’t had time to hit up the gym. not having done so all week long is really showing in my squats but i still hit it hard knowing i’ll feel it even harder the next day

day 1429 – cherry imports

img_20200204_1531172409260874753265877.jpgi’m happy but not surprised when i saw giant boxes in my kitchen. this is the time of the year when my dad orders ten pounds of cherries from coworker who owns a farm in okanagan. normally i would eat cherries as meal replacements, but it as big and sweet as other years since the peak season is delayed this year. it will get finished nonetheless and then he’ll order another batch

day 1428 – render frenzy 

speed testing coworker’s crazy ten thousand dollar computer towers with some sketchup vray renders while he’s on vacation. this forty eight cpu tower is a monster compared to my eight cpu. i’ll be mulling around his workstation and putting those extra cpus to good use before he’s back. with this, there’s hope i’ll be able to finish the renders stacy garcia wanted

day 1427 – on the diamond

back on the diamond after skipping the last two games for meetings. the hardest adjustment is getting my timing and reading the pitch. my first two at bats were terrible, but i finally calibrated to finished the game with two base hits. there were couple weird series of events that ended up in a double play, but the ump was on top of it.  we got blown out but had a good rally in the sixth and final inning

day 1426 – forest blue xz

had been very good with my spendings lately so thought the timing was right to splurge and give myself a late birthday present by adding an xz to my sony collection. wanted to buy this many months ago, stayed patient for my phone case to arrive and the price to drop a bit. then waited some more for the one plus five release, but still set on my forest blue xz. setting up the phone just the way i like it will take some time.

day 1425 – waterworks

when was the last time i smiled from the heart?? please take me back in time and erase the nightmare i’ve been trapped in. there’s just no smiling today; not even the fakest. the only thing i did was cry as it continuously and uncontrollably roll down. my eyes were like waterfall no matter how hard i tried not to think. my eyes are tired, my mind is tired and so is my heart. the uncertainties of what i should do is far from over. i can’t imagine going to work tomorrow and anything acting like myself

day 1424 – bruise much 

fresh bruises on my arm after taking a pregame collision and another bodycheck at my saturday night hockey games. this might be the only chance for my left arm to be buffer than my right. my arm is not looking too good but my foot is in much worse condition. the additional bone growth in my heel looks like a tumour and is getting so bad it even hurts to wear regular shoes. i need to get this checked out and fixed before it becomes something of a much bigger and permanent problem

day 1423 – box jumping

img_20200123_114438481558505241169057.jpgjumping my boxes is a liberty i no longer take for granted. actually, there’s very liberty i take for granted as my body has learned the hard way over the years. box jumps has been sparse ever since beginning my rehab with chiro. of the times i tried the past seven weeks, i either only managed a thirty box or stopped short in excruciating hip pain. two weeks into kineisiologist rehab today, i’m back on boxes and made a thirty nine box. the most positive note to take away is pain free jumps. i hope to keep up with the no advil days

day 1422 – accompaniment 

dsc_0581.jpgmy precious sticking by my side morning and night. she’s there for hugs when i need it most and absorbs any burden i carry day in and day out; something i need more than ever before. accompanying me so to know that i’m not going through this phase alone. i get disappointed wondering where each person’s priorities are at. i’d go home frustrated and speechless, but at least i know i’m somebody’s top priority and i know that i’ll always have her even when everything ends. i’m beginning to feel i’m ready to pull the trigger and let go

day 1421 – solstice begins

img_20200124_1548121129728737801462007.jpgon days like this being stuck indoor away from windows isn’t ideal. the weather looks to be good for the rest of the week with the start of summer season. temperature is on the rise and it’s just one of the reasons summer is my favourite, for it brings sunshine to my life. all the fun summer activities awaits. maybe this will brighten my mood and bring me to a better place