day 1400 – double header

was thinking my hip wouldn’t be up to playing if i had to take doses of advil but ended up playing both double header. it’s not the ideal weather for softball, but we expected the rain to fall and dressed appropriately. fielding first game at first base and second game at rover. got multi base hit game in both games but i swung the bat particularly well in the second game. baserunning iq could be better if i only focused more. it’s funny in between innings the ump told me i was fast; he probably wanted to say my speed saved my butt from an ill-advised decision

day 1399 – slopitch

img_20200204_1621422940480177899180125.jpgthe rain was coming down hard in richmond so i thought surely the rain would be even worse in burnaby. the league said games run as schedule and good call for them. the field was mucky, but the weather didn’t turn out too bad. i layered up to anticipate a chilly evening and it was. it was important to stay warm through the game so i had to keep moving in the dugout. i actually ran a lot of bases and had a good line at the plate too. thinking if it will be wise to play tomorrow because my hip is in a great deal of pain

day 1398 – getting sweaty 

normally i don’t sweat much, but the way my shirt was drenched sure made it look like i played hard tonight. my ribs are becoming more stable, but still have to play conservatively until chiro gives me the okay to play without limitations. my team played better than what the stat sheet showed; i had a decent night with nine kills and five catches despite trying to play cautiously. hard to believe a thunderstorm is expected to spur tomorrow when the weather was so nice out all of last week

day 1397 – sriracha spaghetti

made our own recipe of sriracha tomato sauced spaghetti for dinner. i’ll be picking up my parents from the airport tonight so this is the last homecooking while we have the entire place to ourselves. i enjoyed the freedom and peace, but one my priority it to embrace their presence and build better rapport like the good old days. today also marks the six year anniversary of my first foot fracture. i can’t say i’ll ever be able to treat it like normal again; paranoia usually takes over

day 1396 – start low

lightening up and still feel difficulty with five sets doesn’t bode well for my psyche. four weeks of disruption from my workout program and all my lifts suffers a tremendous drop. everything must stay within warmup range until i can prove my that recovery is at 50%. i’m trying to stay patient but i’m not very patient at this and it sucks the life out of me until i am fully back. i’m waiting on everything that i have little control over

day 1395 – earnest

carrying over the effects of yesterday, i couldn’t concentrate seeing so many live streams and posts of the event. even the earnest manager brought in didn’t help much. i didn’t want to be anywhere; if there was a hole i would bury myself. luckily i could go out for a drink on a warm summer-like night. that gave my mind a break so i don’t have to bum around and want to run myself through the walls

day 1394 – speak easy

nationals in the back of my mind the whole day made me so restless. i never expected the decision to be easy to overcome, and i think i handled it the best i could. what made it more difficult was i had no one to speak my mind and made it less inviting when i’m constantly being criticized, teased or ignored. i feel like i’m taking this on alone and less willing to pour my heart out knowing i’m going to get insults. i don’t know how long i can take the punishment

day 1393 – gstringers bonder 

took us long enough to finally have our gstrings season end get together. partying at eastside crafthouse thanks to our spirit award gift certificate. for those of us on the team who are straight, the conversation got really awkward at times and even uncomfortable; it’s never a dull moment with these girls. it’s a long off season but we’ll be returning next season to kick some more butts

day 1392 – high socks

img_20200204_1634268972411364148992247.jpggrabbing my new batting gloves and high socks out the door to my softball game. played a strong defensively game making six outs as a rover. it’s nice gesture when the other team commented on my fielding during the handshake. my offensive game of was decent with two base hits although i failed to get my first rbi in the seventh inning. i was suppose to have a double header tonight, but the strong winds blew the power out of the rink

day 1391 – stat work

the office was as empty as the roads were during rush hour today. the office was quiet on a statutory holiday but the increased productivity was much needed for my friday deadline. feeling unrested and uneasy all week long because all i can think about is my teammates flying off to nationals; i should be with them, but i’m not. i’ve been using many things to numb my feelings and emotions until something can act as sleeping pills. work is one of them and i keep being my workaholic self to not allow myself any down time so i don’t end my night in tears