day 1218 – irregularities

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i’ll get use to leaving the house when the sky is still pitch black. but it’ll take much more to adapt to sleeping earlier. stationary objects orbiting around me probably means something isn’t functioning properly. felt so faint for much of the day with a banging headache and stomachache. something is definitely wrong but i’m not sure what; i just know i don’t want to take drugs

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day 1217 – seven to ten

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crazy long day working and schooling for fourteen straight hours and hanging on with five hours of sleep. got home from class half past ten and felt too tired to even eat. it doesn’t help that i’m super stressed out about my term project due in a week on top of the final exam. i am still establishing a protocol to sleep earlier, all for my long term health benefits with the changes my schedule demands

day 1216 – onboarding

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not the typical onboarding day when i only have a company lunch with the bosses and don’t even get to sit down with my manager until the last hour of the day. with her going away on vacation, i’ll have to prove i can tread and swim in the deep end. it will be a big learning curve cause she’s already put a lot on my plate. i’m expected to learn on the fly, but it’s just another test for me to crush. first day so far so good; everyone tries to keep it a fun environment

day 1215 – obwf playoff

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we weren’t expecting to make it into tier 1 playoffs, but i guess we’ve proven ourselves enough this season to hang with the top teams. the outcome was the least of our worries; more importantly, we played as a team and gave them a run for their money. i have played with this team for seven seasons now and i have enjoyed every single one. i never want to leave this team but i might have to take a leave of absence from this team for season 23 as priorities for school come first

day 1214 – wearables

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playing with my newest gadget and the newly setup charge 2. my mom benefits from my investment because she inherited my old charge hr. teaching was very tiring and a killer for my throat today because i had be extra stern and strict. i find a lot of the students are getting a little laxed when it comes to discipline and self practice so i had to send a message and reestablish my expectations; i had to take more control and not let them get too comfortable in that state. good thing i only had to teach sergeant-like for three classes or i wouldn’t be able to talk at playoffs tomorrow

fulfilment

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heaving a ten tonne rock off my shoulders is an appropriate representation as i haven’t felt so relieved in far too long. it may not mean anything to others, but to me, no words can describe how much receiving that call means to me. for the past year, i struggled to find myself, to accept myself and to be myself. i would hate myself for never being good enough at everything and for anything, often had internal war within. i went though down times that caused eating problems which consequently wrecked my body in too many ways. i bottled up all my problems and feelings, and avoided sensitive topics at all costs. it got to the point where i lost interest in a lot of things and wanted to confine myself in my own space so i didn’t have to talk. at last i opened up to a selected few; i need not to mention any names as you know who you are. i’m thankful that while i was going through my wildest and worst times, you came to the rescue and stood by me. thank you for being patient with me when i was going through some of the roughest times. for piecing me together and keeping me together when i was self destructing. for not rushing me to become something i wasn’t ready to become. for supporting me to find what i truly wanted. for accepting me with open arms and caressing me when i needed you most. it’s you that kept me afloat and a good reason why i’m still alive and striving to this day. through this process i’ve learned an abundance of things –  it’s okay to have weak moments but i’ve learned to be strong. many times i thought i had turned the corner, only to stumbled back in. today i can safely and assertively say i have found my way out of this gigantic hole, and i will only move forward in the direction i’ve always wanted to go but didn’t dare to go. i have a very good reason to smile as i’m leaving everything behind and starting my new episode fresh. i have found myself and i’ll be chasing whatever fulfills my heart

day 1213 – chasing two plates

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dragged my butt out of bed early this morning to door crash for my new fitbit. four days removed from the gym, and it’s driving me crazy. i haven’t moved enough since and needed to get my workout in no matter dizzy or groggy. getting through my usual sets of exercises were tough but expected, a few times i did feel my head was spinning. my power cleans felt out of sync but that didn’t come to surprise me because i felt weakened. knowing so, i stepped down on some poundage on most exercises, all except for my deads. i’m shocked of the progress of my deads as i’m one step closer to making the two plate club