day 1057 – walking in rain

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a walk in the drizzling rain got me a little wet, but left me feeling refreshed. when i am alone, i think and think until i overthink everything. i’ll always find something to think about even when there’s nothing to think about. sometimes life let’s you wander off to nowhere in particular and leave you hanging just so you can learn a little more about yourself and perhaps find yourself. i got my rest, i got my time off; it’s time to look for steps to do something that will lead me to what i my soul is searching for

give and receive

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recently each and every day is a mighty struggle because i am trapped in a battle against myself and within myself. regardless of what i go through, i try not to let problems surface and definitely don’t allow my mood to fluctuate. i never want my troubles to affect others because i am a strong and independent girl that ought to take care myself and not cause others to worry. truth is, i’ve been really troubled lately and i just don’t know what to do with myself. there are nights when i sit alone thinking about everything i am, everything i am not, and then eventually emotions get the better of me. sometimes i am uncertain what purpose i serve in society and why my existence even matters?? what exactly sets my heart on fire and where my passion lies?? this is a routine i would go through day in and day out, but so far i’ve come out empty handed majority of the time. every now and then, i would feel my strength as a person has been decreasing with every self destructing battle i fight. then i think to myself that life gave me those challenges because i am strong enough to live it. knowing nothing comes overnight, i can only carry on and stay positive that something will come along as long as i keep going. this is only one of the few challenges i will encounter in my life, and i am set on defeating it